Philosophy

Did I spell philosophy right? Don't see a red line under it, so I guess I probably did. Wehey.

I've been asked what I think is the meaning of life, but I'm not sure what to think of it. Ok, I haven't been asked, but if someone should decide to ask me, I like to be prepared. Those who know me knows that I like to be prepared, sometimes, now and then, once in a while, once a year.... IT HAPPENS!

So what is the meaning of life? Is it get drunk, get a girlfriend(while drunk?), get a house and loan(still drunk?) and kids(must be drunk)? I dunno. I hope the meaning of life is watching Arsenal win the League, FA Cup, Champions League while the kids take the Carling Cup. That would be nice. Maybe some day as I move further into adulthood there will be a revelation to me about what really is the meaning of life, but right now I'll settle for passing that fucking phonetics exam and watch Arsenal win at least the PL.

So, enough philosophy and on to something interesting; my computer is a bitch. Killing the videocard driver whenever it feels like it, going sloooooooooooooooow like me rambling on about something completely stupid, and not letting me defrag it. "What keeps you from throwing the piece of shit out the window?" you might ask. Well, basically, it's because it will be like going from having a leg that hurts every now and then to amputating the thing with a hacksaw while being forced to listen to boybands and republicans ramble on about how Obama is Muslim Communist from Kenya. I three computers here in this house, two desktops and one laptop.

Desktop #1(my private comp): Has decided that it's time to disable the sound card no matter what, disable every .exe file on two hard drives, and Protect every file and folder so that it's impossible to make a back up of all my LEGAL mp3's and other LEGAL downloads.

Desktop #2(crap comp): Runs slower than a turtle through glue and shuts down programs whenever it feels like it. Watching anything more than a movie is to pray for a white Christmas and sanity for those that vote Frp. Any more complicated programs than Word and Firefox(and Media Player every now and then) makes it whine like a 5 yo who has just been denied desert because it thought it was a good idea to throw muddy water on the dog and let it into the living room.

Laptop: I believe I have already explained the problem. So basically this is the lesser of three evils.

Also my WD external Hard Drive has decided that it doesn't want to play anymore and has shut down, and probably need a format if it's ever gonna work again, meaning; 450 gigs of stash removed. Oh joy...

Actually quite interesting

I'm not gonna say much about the Mahrabalah Cash - Arsenal game, simply because the entire game has been overshadowed by what Adebaycunt did in the match. Arseblog sums it up pretty much, and he keeps it somewhat serious too. I don't think I could manage to keep it all that serious. I'd probably ramble on about how he is one of the cuntiest cunts that ever played for Arsenal. Arseblog is right when he ridicules Mahrabalah Cash's manager Mark Hughes for saying

He needs to be cut a little bit of slack given what he has gone through in the last 18 months

He earns £140 000 a week, and if it's true that footballplayers have to pay 50% tax then he still has £70 000 a week times 52 is £3,64 million a year after tax. If I work as much as I can I'll earn roughly £480 a week before tax. He earns £139 520 more than me a week, if I work as much as I can. I don't feel sorry for him one bit, even if he needs to shag Maggie Thatcher once a week. He can play football, and he gets a shitload of money for it. He will get no sympathy from me.

When it comes to Arsenal, despite a 4-2 loss I'm not worried about defense. In the last two matches we've conceeded 6 goals. 1 on penalty(which was just a bit more of a penalty than Eduardo's dive. Shrek showing his standing up abilities yet again), one own goal by Diaby(you're a useless cunt btw) and now 4 goals against Mahrabalah Cash. That game could have gone either way. Arsenal should have been given a penalty when it was 1-1, Adebaycunt should have been sent off before saving a ball on the line at 2-1 and before scoring the 3-1 goal. It just shows that Mark Clattenburgh(or however the blind fucker's name is spelled) needs new contact lenses and a pair of balls. Arsenal had a bundle of chances to get back into the game, but things just didn't go our way. That's the life of football, and this time it was Mahrabalah Cash who had payed the most money to the prostitute we all know as Lady Luck.

On a less important note, it's election here in Norway today. My gut feeling says that things will remain unchanged, simpley because the opposition made a big mess of it the last week, really showing how far away from each other they really are. The 4 opposition parties, Venstre(Left, who isn't on the left but in the centre), KrF(Christian People Party, for Christians and Jews who hate muslims and wants to keep women in the kitchen), Høyre(Right, who is actually on the right side, but they are rarely right(wordplays ftw=D)) and FrP(Progressparty, who isn't for progress, but says they will fill your wallet but they will just empty it like the rest of the bunch, only in a different way).

Venstre (V) and KrF will NEVER co operate with FrP in government and they will probably never support a FrP government. The three parties currently in government will also never accept an FrP government, even if it is together with Høyre(H), thus H and FrP needs over 50% of the seats in the Parliment for FrP to end up in government, provided that they manage to work something out together. I can't see that happening.

KrF's leader, Dagfinn Høybråten, thinks he can be a PM candidate. The only person more disillusioned is Eboue thinking he's the best player on Arsenal. It's just not a reality. The only option to the sitting government(should they loose the majorety) is an V-Krf-H coalition who has to work with either FrP or AP(one of the governing parties) to get majoriety in the Parliment, or a pure AP government, working with God knows who. I simply can't see FrP having a minister after this election. Should that happen I'll be expecting to be able to see pigs fly outside my window and Song score a hat-trick against Standard Liege on Wednesday while all the countries in the world agrees on death penalty to all boybands. Should the last one become true I think I could handle an FrP government. You win some, you loose some....

A long time ago

It's been a while since I've updated last time. Reason? Simple; there has been fuck all happening, until now. Why do I post right now, that's because Premier League have FINALLY started again. First round is over and Arsenal is top of the table. If it was up to me they could just end the league right now and give Arsenal the trophy. Sadly that isn't how things work, and although we won 6-1 away at the unemployed neighbours of the mugsmashers, there's a whole lot of games left, but it's a good start. Unfortunately I didn't get to see the game, so I'm forced to redirect you to Arseblog. I hope you'll survive with that.

In case you haven't watched the silly season's happenings, the big news from an Arsenal point of view is that Adebayor is gone to Mahrabalah Cash(yay, goodbye you offsidefishing cunt) along with Toure(damn). Enjoy your lack of CL matches, lads.

The sad thing about this season is that unless we make a big signing in the back, defensive midfielder or center back, we won't win. Although the FA and League Cups are still open(simply because they are cups), I still can't see us win the league. But I'm confident in a top four finish. The three contenders to a spot in the top four, The Unemployed Neigbours, Villa(haven't come up with a good mocking name for them yet. Open for suggestions) and Mahrabalah Cash, didn't exactly impress me in the opening round. UN and Villa both lost, and MC won over Blackburn, which isn't exactly a big club no matter what they think of themselves.

UN's best central defender want's to go to MC, Villa has lost Gareth Barry, a key player, to MC, and MC has two dozen strikers but a lack of central defenders.

When it comes to the title I agree with a lot of experts(except the Norwegian ones who don't know shit about football since they fap to pictures of Rooney and Gerrard) that Chelsea is the favourite for the title this year. They are as strong as they were last season and with a new good manager(that will be without a job before Christmas because Abramovich gets a severe case of PMS yet again and thinks he knows everything about managing) and Man Who and the mugsmashers have both lost keyplayers; ronnie, Tevez, Alonso to mention a few.

With the mugsmashers I agree with Paul Merson; Alonso could pick out a pass from almost anywhere on the pitch, send it over to Gerrard that would attract enough defenders to leave Torres in acres of space before passing the ball to El Nino and let put the ball in the back of the net. Who's gonna give the ball to Gerrard now?

I think Tevez was the best player on Man Who last year. Yes, ronnie the rat scored more goals than him, but Tevez's workrate allowed the cunt to move forward and enjoy himself there. Now they don't have a hard working lad and they don't have a cunt that score that many goals for them. To me, Tevez is a bigger loss than ronnie the rat.

The other thing that's happening right now is that Alice Cooper and everybody else who sang "Schools Out" have been proven wrong today. School has just started. Just shows that drugs will mess with your mind.

The reason the world hate Yanks

There has been a lot of drama in the local media lately, and it's all because of our "good friend" Mullah Krekar, the founder of the terrorist group Ansar Al-Islam. Some cocky Yanks from the NBC news made a documentary about how easy it was to get Mullah Krekar out of Norway and back to Iraq for trial. Ok, Mullah Krekar is a terrorist(or at least founder of a terrorist group and pretty annoyed with the Yanks) and he is wanted in Iraq for God knows how many things. So why don't we just send him on his arse out of Norway and down to Iraq? The answer is pretty simple; Norway has agreed with probably every other European nation that we will NOT send wanted people to countries where they can be tortured or given the death penalty. Imagine that; keeping the legal rights of any person no matter what they are charged with. Seems like this is something that these Yanks making the documentary(I'm not sure if I can even call it that) don't care about.

I saw a good portion of the show, but I just couldn't look at it much longer. To see these dudes show themselves with full names and act like idiots in the way they did was just too much for me to take, and I've seen a lot. And to see two high ranking politicians appear on this show and act like they want to shag the Yanks just for bringing up a document that doesn't mean shait was just disgusting.

One of the parts that was increadibly embarassing was when they begun to do surveilance on Krekar's appartment. They wanted to find out if he was really there before they gave the information to the authorities. I think there's an invetion that eluded them. It's called a fucking phone book(invented in 1878, so it's not a new invetion). Find the letter "K" in it(it's sort of like a dictionary) and see if you can find Mullah Krekar. It's probably not all that difficult, but these fuckers decided to camp outside his appartment and stash hidden surveilance cameras(illegal. For once I hope the bastard calls the cops on the Yanks) to see if he was really there. Jesus fucking Christ. And when they managed to say that they had to tread carefully on this operation otherwise "people could get killed" it just showed how retarded these dudes are. You're not in fucking Bagdad anymore. You're in Oslo; the capital of a country in where you're not allowed to own a firearm unless you're in a club that does competative shooting or a registered and licenced hunter. Do you idiots honestly think that suddenly one of Krekar's neighbours is gonna grab an AK and start shooting at you, or maybe grab an RPG and blow up your "surveilance van"? Something tells me these idiots have lost touch with reality.

So, if we look away from the fact that they have appeared like idiots on their own show, what if we look at the quality of the journalistic work they have done. I think you can sum it up with three words; A FUCKING DISGRACE! Yup, that sums it up fairly nicely. Let's make a short list:
- The document they got and delivered to the politicians had no impact whatsoever on the matter at hand. The dude signing it had no power to guarantee such a thing
-They edited the interview of Mullah Krekar to make him look as similar to bin Laden as they could.
-The politicians they interviewed: Two politicians from the same party to far bloody right of Norwegian Politics. Go one step further and you're getting dangerously close to the Nazi's(and I FUCKING MEAN IT!). They had a long interview with the Minister of Justice, but they edited that away, and they rejected an offer to interview the Minsiter of Foreign Affairs, two of three people with real political power in this case(The Prime Minister being the one left). Instead they chose two idiots from the FrP(I think they referred to them as The Progress Party(progress my ass. Recession x 2 is more likely)). FrP is the kid in the neighbourhood that nobody wants to play with. This is the party that would nod and say "yes, that was the right decision" if Bush decided it was a good idea to get rid of some nuclear weapons and dump them on strategic places in Iraq, Iran and North-Korea.

The rather amusing thing is that American Media is butchering this series, more or less asking NBC; "Hey guys, what the fuck are you smoking up there?". Commentators from Baltimore Sun and New York Times have given this program what it's worth. If I were an American journalist I would be so embarassed I would give up my profession and start sweeping streets for a living.

So, it's back to my headline; what has this to do with the world hating Yanks? Well, the only thing this program enlightens is the problem with an American thinking way: "The Norwegians haven't been able to get rid of him, so now we're gonna do it for them." They act like they're some sort of world police here to get rid of any problem that might occur in the world. It's like they have a Swiss Army knife with a special "Save the world tool" made for Americans only. This is why you're so fucking unpopular; you stick your nose in places where it shouldn't be, you say you can fix it and you either end up making a bigger mess out of it or you do nothing at all, except project yourself like idiots. And you're wondering why you lot are so bloody unpopular?

Idiots...

Very little of itnerest going on

Game of the week; Defend the wicket. Very simple, but can be somewhat addictive(I played the Ashes with this one, Aussies won 3-1)

http://www.miniclip.com/games/cricket-defend-the-wicket/en/

Nothing else of interest is going on. Heading to the East part of Norway tomorrow to visit a friend of mine. Apparently she lives in what they call "Dollar Hill", so not surprisingly I've given her hell for that already. I can guarantee you that there is more to come, make no mistake about it. On the plane tomorrow I'm gonna do my best to try and find up more jokes about it. Maybe something like "So this is what a dollar hill looks like?" and "Beverly Hills take a hike". I'll have an hour on the plane and a good hour on the train to figure it all out.

Other than that there is very little of real interest happening around in the world. A little bit of transfers and all that, but nothing more than that, except that I found the video proof that Captain Diver did punch that man who supporter in the pub. I hope the bastard gets a hard long sentence. It would be epic. Sometimes I wish I were a judge. I would give cunts like that 5 years of hard labour, and that's just for being a cunt.

Until later, prisoners.

Adebayor and I'm pissed off

That's fucking right. I'm fucking pissed off. Maybe that's just because I'm tired and cold, that usually has that effect on me, but I'm still pissed off. It's not about Adebayor though. The offside kid(when you put it like that he does sound like a sort of super hero, doesn't he. "Wenger. We are 2-1 up and we don't have any offsides." "Send in the offside kid!"). £25 million is a nice lump of cash that will give us a chance to buy a good central midfielder, and maybe we buy that Chamkra kid or whatever his name is. I've heard they want Sylvestre along with a lump sum of money. Do it, Wenger. Just do it. If we have to spend 7 million quid to get rid of him, the fine. The bastard has probably cost us more during his one year stay. Just get him out of Emirates.

Now, onto what really pisses me off. It's cold and windy today. It's so cold that I've had to turn on the ovens. Now, that wouldn't be a problem if it now was in the period October-April, but we're in the middle of fucking July. July is supposed to be a warm month, because it's the fucking summer. And I do believe we all know the reason for all of this; the climate change. How we humans have managed to fuck up this world yet again is beyond me. You would think we had learned by now, but as Einstin pointed out; Human stupidity is indeed endless.

What's even more frustrating and what really REALLY pisses me off are those fucktards saying "The Climate change is not caused by humans". What the fuck are you talking about? The fact that 90% of all the scientists working on this subject has said "Yes, this fucked up thing is caused by us"(in a slightly different and more academic way) doesn't mean anything to you? That a buynch of scientists hired by the UN agreed on this statement is something that you don't care about, because you listen to the Dr. Mengele of climate science saying that 90% of the scientists are wrong. Well, here's a newsflash; 10% of the scientists in the 30's and 40's said that Jews were a lower race than white. Some historians still say that Holocaust never happened(although Ahmadinejad probably thinks that an organised butchering of 6 million Jews would be too good to be true. His thoughts, not mine). Fuck, they even give them prizes for saying that load of crap these days. Some people still beilieve that homosexuality is a disease that can be cured through either therapy or medicine, but since they are minority in these thoughts, does that make them right? FUCKING NO!!!

Just because you're a minority in science, doesn't mean that you're a lesser human being because the majority screws you over. Sometimes the minority is right, but in this case you're fucking wrong. Open up your eyes, realise that you've fucked up, and then start thinking if you should listen to politicians who denies climate change just because it doesn't fit their politics...

Thoughts on WoW.

I'm stuck with rather mixed feelings about World of Warcraft right now. It's rather difficult to decide if I should continue with it after the trial is over or if I should care fuck all about it.

I can try to summarize it in to positive and negative

Positive
When it comes to WoW I'm amazed of not only the level of detail, but also the size of it all. You can start running from one side and probably won't reach the other side before next year. Also the fact that I with my shitty internet connection am able to play a game with pretty good detail online is a bit impressive. They say that you can do it with dial up 56 kb/s, but I experienced lag in areas with a lot of people at 700 kb/s. Still it's pretty impressive, I must admit.

I like the way that you can have several different types of classes and species. This doesn't restrict you to just orc or human. It gives a person a greater diversity and range of choice. It also allows the ability to gather up parties consisting of warriors and spellcasters. Diversity is stronger than anything else. One characters strong side weighs up for another's weak side.

It wasn't fun when playing alone, well it was fun for about 30 minutes, but then it just got "meh". However, I ended up getting into a party of five(see what I did there?=P), which quickly made it a bit more interesting. Although since I was on the trial version I couldn't invite people in, I helped out a dude that needed it and he invited me to join him. Then we got a couple more, and the killing was on. Although the dudes refused to listen to any attempt to play it tactical to avoid deaths in the group. Also the total lack of communication in the group was a bit annoying. Never the less, it was funn the little while it lasted.

Negative
On to the negative sides of the game. First of all, it's rubbish if you don't play it with anyone. You can keep yourself entertained for a little while, but unless you're one of those with no life at all, you'll end up bored and wanting to shave your groin with a 10 year old well used razor. It's just not that fun. You need someone else to play with, and until that happens, you're pretty much fucked.
Although I found someone to play with, ssince I didn't know them, it was rather boring. It was like a sex addict forced to have a wank instead of sex. It wasn't satisfying. It worked for some time, but in the end it was useless. Maybe the fact that I only have a trial account and thus can't do shit counts for something. Anyway, playing it alone for a longer period of time is boring. It's also very difficult to take on larger groups of monsters on your own. If you are a level 11 type, you might just win against a level 13 beast, but then you're most likely very far down on HP. Add another beast, and you're dead. You need others to back you up when fighting more than two beasts at a time that are superior to you in level. That really sucks.

If you, like me, experience lag, then it could be frustrating. But that goes for any game. Lag=sucks.

Neither does it bring something new gameplay, at least I feel that way. You have a character, you kill to gain experience, you use that experience to get stronger and learn new abilities, which allows you to kill animals that give you more experience. You also earn money that allow you to buy money. We've all seen it before, but if you like that type of game then it's not a problem really.
Conclusion
No matter how you look at it and how many positive sides you bring up, it still won't be able to outwheigh the alone part. ssThe problem is that it's simply not the kind of game you can play alone. You are more or less forced to drag some friends in to be able to play. Taking that into consideration, it's a pretty smart marketing technique from Blizzard. But as long as you can find someone to play it with, you might actually enjoy the experience.

However, should you get hooked, you should shoot yourself...

Frustration over Blizzard

I'm seriously annoyed with Blizzard. I think annoyed is the wrong word. I think pissed off would be better. The reason? Simply their patching system for WoW.

As I've said, I thought I should give WoW a go and see what all the hype is. But the odds are now that I'm gonna be pissed off and tempted to scrap the project before I even play it.
I got a trial version for it(10 days) and downloaded the game, which was 4,5 gig on the first download. Used to big downloads, I let the machine run through the night as it downloaded and installed the game. Then, as I prepared to play the game earlier today around noon, I was told that I needed to update the game. "Fair enough" I thought, "It's probably an old version I downloaded anyway", so I started to DL the 650mb big patch. Although this took time and frustration, I showed patience and understanding. DLing a 650 meg file on a 95kb/s average line takes a shitload of time, but I'm a patient man.

After DLing and fixing the update, the frustration gets me. I start the game again and once more I get the message that I need to patch the game. Then it hits me. Instead of smacking all the patches into one big one, or do like Microsoft that you can download multiple patches and updates at once, the assholes at Blizzard decides that I first have to download the 3.0.7 patch and install that before I can move on to the 3.0.8 patch and so forth, until I reach the final patch at 3.1.3. How fucking frustrating is that? At the moment I'm DL the 3.1.0 patch which is about 800 mb large. Currently at 13% and a bit over two hours remaining. Then I have to do the 3.1.1, 3.1.2 and 3.1.3 patch. WoW better be the best game of all time, because I'm seriously beginning to wonder if this is all worth it.

Game of the Week + laptop is back

First of all, game of the week.

http://www.kongregate.com/games/light_bringer777/learn-to-fly

It's a game called "Learn to fly", and is quite amusing. Basically, you're gonna make a penguin fly by fitting him with different stuff. Nice to have at work in case you're rather bored.

Second, and much more important, I have my laptop back*plays fanfare*. It's good to have the piece of shit back, although the only thin improved on it is that it starts up when I tell it to and it doesn't overheat or force the fan to go into overdrive. But I doubt it's a problem a good old format C: won't fix. Now if I can just be bothered to do it...

So with the laptop back(a piece of equipment that can actually run a game) I have decided to try to test World of Warcraft. I know, it sounds surreal and dangerous, but I honestly want to check what all the hype is about. I am aware that it sounds like a high school kid that suddenly got busted in smoking pot and using "everyone else does it" defense, but I think this could be worth checking out. I got a 10 day trial pass, so we'll see how well this goes. Either I get hooked or I'm gonna come back here and say "People actually get hooked on WoW? And I thought my life was miserable..." I guess only time will tell. There's not much I can say about it until I've tried it. Kinda looking forward too it. Just have to wait for 4,5 gigabytes to be downloaded with a speed of 90 kb/s. Should take about an hour and fifteen minutes. It's the waiting game now(315 mb down as of 18:04 GMT+1).

In Arsenal news, it seems like Adebayor could be heading on to Manchester City(I think I have heard of them). If he really wants to go there I sugges he shows himself for what he really is, a money loving bastard and not a passionate footballer. man shity isn't even playing in Europe this season. But then again, if we can get man shity to pay £22 million for the offside kid, then I'm all up for it. Leaves us with more spending money, which we can use on an experienced central midfielder or another central defender(should King Kolo and Gallas go). Next few weeks will be really interesting with a lot of nonsense coming from The Sun and News of the World.

Until next time, offsiders.

The Surrender of Sarah Palin

So Sarah Palin has finally surrendered, and now the reason for why she is quitting as the Alaska governor is starting to flow like we would expect. Some says that she was pressured by it, some say it was because the FBI was investigating her while others probably blame little green men from Mars.

However, the final push that drove her over the edge was when King David Letterman said that her daughter had been knocked up by a New York Yankes baseballplayer. Letterman had some bad intelligence though, as he was told that it was Palin's daughter(which could have been the 18yo that was knocked up during the election), it was infact her 14yo daughter, with 4 years to before reaching the age of consent. It was an honest mistake by Letterman.

She has now demanded an apology from David Letterman to her and all the young women in the US. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You honestly thing that David Letterman would give an apology when the demand comes from a republican, or simply a politician? Are you really that stupid? I thought you said you were smart, although the "I know foreign politics. I can see Russia from my house" comment may have reduced many people's faith in your intelligence and ability to cope as a person with power over anything more than the outback of the US.

Even though she is quoted to have said

I'm not a person who quits. I'm a fighter

She has still decided that it's time to... quit. Yes, Sarah Palin, you are a quitter and not a fighter. Did you expect that the media wouldn't make fun of you just because you are a female politician? You're a republican(which makes you even more vulnerable to attacks) and basically a politician as well who managed to make more retarded quotes than George Bush did in 8 years in the Oval Office. Ok, maybe not, but she still managed to cock it up more times than anyone expected.

If you step in the salad, for the love of God stand still.

The meaning of this quote is that if you have said something stupid don't try to explain why you've said it by saything something more stupid, just change the fucking subject. You didn't. I'm temped to sing "One election, and you fucked it up", but I'm not because I don't feel like singing at the moment.

Nonetheless, David Letterman did what half the republican party couldn't: Make Sarah Palin quit politics. If he was a British, he would have been knighted.

On a different note, I'm going to start introducing "Game of the Week", where I pick out a simple Interent game that you can play at home, at school when the teacher isn't looking or at work when the boss is busy doing his/her secretary.

This week it's Click Play, game where you are just going to find the Play Button by clicking on things. Second level is increadibly frustrating.

http://click.play.fizzlebot.com/

Until next time, quitters.

NEWS UPDATE: Jacko the Wacko

I never thought this day would come. I if you had told me yesterday that what happened a few minutes ago would happen, I would have said "no fucking way", but here I am, doing what I thought I would never do:

I AGREE WITH A REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN

I know, it's insane. Some of you are probably thinking about calling the men in withe coats to drag me to a mental institution where they cure me for all possible mental illnesses, but the man, congressman Peter King, is absolutely right.

On what wild thing is it that I agree with him. Well, it's not all that wild, but in this video he says that the hysteria around Jacko the Wacko is sickening and that there are other people who needs to be honoured instead of the pervert. If I was of African decent I would say "Damn straight, niggah". Jacko the Wacko was a pedo and he deserves nothing of the honour he gets. Yes, he did make some good albums and probably deserved the title "King of Pop", but he was still a pedo. If I manage to bring peace to the Middle East, but I come home and kill my neighbour I will still be charged with murder, no matter what I've done in the past. If you have done something illegal, you deserve to be punished, and Jacko the Wacko desrved to be sent to prison for a bloody long time. A shame it never happened.

Thunder and lightning

So, my cousin is in Australia(I am thinking of branding her mentally insane because of that. Hope she never reads this=P), I am sick(although not as sick as yesterday) and there's a thunderstorm outside. Lovely, isn't it?

As noted, my cousin went to Australia to study there a semester. What the Aussies can offer that we can't, I don't know(except more liberal drinking laws and prices). Anyway, I hope she has a good time and enjoys herself down there. We will be waiting for your return back here in Norway(and you better bloody come back, or I'll come down and drag your arse home). Hopefully you'll learn something useful from the Aussies, other than how to down 6 pints of lager without breathing. And no you perverted bastards, she already has a boyfriend, so you can cancel those Australia tickets.

On a different side, I have something wrong with my head. Well, I have a lot of things wrong with my head, but right now it's a problem with my sinuses, or paranasal sinuses if you want to be completely correct, that are bothering me. Well it's just the left one, but it's still a pain in the nose(I figure that pain in the arse wouldn't be the best term here, considering that might give the nickname "Arseface". I have plenty of nicknames to worry about already, don't need anotherone). If something is clogging in there I'm very close to just stick a needle in and relieve the airpressure. I'd probably miss, but if at first you don't succeed, try try again. It doesn't hurt as much now as it did yesterday though, so hopefully I will be a lot better tomorrow. Then I can continue with my extremely active lifestyle...

But as the head of this post says, today there has been thunder and lightning in the area. Not that it's something I care about, except that the power went offline for a few minutes, and I was just about to put on Rambo III. Maybe that's a sign from the wheater gods that they don't approve of Sly's movies. I watched it later though, and just as it finished the sky opened and it started to rain. And it's not regular showers either. It's the "Screw you Amazon Rainforest, I can rain heavier than you" type of rain. I suspect that cars will float around the area soon. Right now I'm just fearing what my dogs gonna look like when my dad's done driving around in the tractor(she always joins in the tractor, no matter who's driving. A harsh insult if you don't let her join). She immediately goes straight for the nearest muddy puddle when she's finished, and right now I don't think it's gonna be a pretty sight. The signal of my dad being done is when my mother screams because my dog came inside wet and muddy.

Not much else going around in the world. Jacko the Wacko seems to be getting 19% of the clicks on Sky News' website. Seems like he's causing more drama dead than alive. Well, I guess that's what you get for being a world famous pedo(YES HE FUCKING DID IT!!!!!)

Until next time, travellers

Damn you blogspot.

So, blogspot's server seems to be a cunt. Ok, maybe not a cunt, but at least bitchy every now and then. Has happened that it won't let me get to the edit part every now and then. I don't know if it's the fact that blogspot is worried about my very broad vocabulary(because swearing means that while you can just say idiot, I can say cunt, shithead, bastard, prick etc.) or that something else is wrong. Honestly, I don't care. It's just mildly frustrating, that's all.

And if it is being a bit bitchy due to my language then I can only say this: mods=fags.
By using the word "fags" I don't mean homosexuals. Gay people are pretty cool people, and even though I probably have stated this before I will say it again; even in our society it takes a shitload of guts to get out of the closet and admit that you like people of your own gender. Although I'm not gay myself(just to inform all you people out there who might think I am, if there are any), I have a few gay friends, and their all good people. So credit to them.

"fags", in this context, would be cigarettes. It's not a new term due to it being a slang term in Britain. "Have a fag. I got a fag. Give me some fags" and so on. And since we all know that cigarettes, or fags, gives you a huge variety of cancers and other health problems, the blogspot mods are then compared to something that gives you serious health problems. And considering that I get rather annoyed that I can't post when I want to, it becomes a risk to my health(blood pressure and all, probably, I bet, I think, maybe). So there you are, even second hand mods are bad for you...

Anyway, apart telling you that homosexuals are great and mods are crap, I have actually been outside today, belive it or not. I think there could be pictures to prove this, but I'm not sure if there were pictures of me, but 9 people saw me outside, on a small island me and a bunch of my family members had gone out to, by boat. I know, it is almost too amazing to believe.

We jumped into the sea and had a lot of fun, although the fucking jellyfish restricted our movement in the sea. Jellyfish is one of the few species in the world I have troubles understanding why are here. I understand why spiders and insects are here, but not jellyfish. I can not understand what the fuck they were put here on Earth(or in the see to be precise) other than be a nuisance to the rest of the world. They are just like Cuntenham Hotspunks; nobody likes them and everyone thinks the world would be a better place without them.

One thing that annoys me though, it seems like it's impossible for me to get a tan. I shit you not. I'm either white or red. There is no middle ground for me, just white or red. It's fucking annoying. Have I recieved a set of bad genes or something? Was I a victim of nuclear radiation from Tsjernobyl or have I gotten some sort of toxic waste in me that has fucked up my DNA or the ability to get a tan? Is it another one of God's little jokes? No matter what it is, I still find it rather annoying.

When also taking into consideration that the pale withe man at the bar isn't the most good looking fellow in the pub, I came to think about maybe I should do like 30% of all men(the other 70% are dead) and just lie, and say that I have a job that forces me to be inside. My first thought was that I should be a miner, but as there are very fed/none mines around here my mind(hah. Just had to do it) quickly said that it's a no go. Anyone got a good idea?

Until later, swimmers.

Fuck cycling....

I woke up today with the hangover from hell. If ever there was a hangover that the devil created, this was it. A whole band of drummers decided to use my head as a big public drum to hammer different rhythms. One part of my stomach had obviously said to the other "Hey, mate. You know what we should do?" "What?" "Lets re-enact the battle of Somme". And my mouth felt like the battle of Somme one week later. I bet I could kill an undead with my breath. Brushed my teeth thoroughly twice, and I could still taste the horrible taste. If you haven't done it yet, I strongly recommend you not to get drunk. Getting drunk can cause you to; dance(and not in a pretty way), hook up with really REALLY ugly persons, hook up with the wrong person(e.g. your ex's sister/brother which isn't all that bad but it could fuck things up), talk to strangers in a foreign language(although that can sometimes be quite amusing). These are the more positive consequenses. You could also end up throwing up and talk crap to everyone, or worst case start crying that you miss your ex. Thank God I've never done the last one.

But back to the main topic of today; cyclists. The reason I mention the hangover from hell is because I was woken up this morning by the national championship in cycling(the lads that go to France and does the Tour de France thing). The cyclists weren't the problem. The problem was the crowd and the loud music. Have they no fucking respect? One thing is that they don't show any consideration for us normal people who went out and got drunk the other day, but they start the racket a 9 AM in the FUCKING MORNING! ON A FUCKING SUNDAY!!!!! Whenever I do something on a Sunday it's after church time, or after noon which is usually when church is over on Sundays. It's common fuckin courtesy and tradition. You don't start noise in a public place(unless it's a stadium or a festival of some sort) until noon. If it's Saturday, fine, I'll accept it. I'll still hate you for it, but I'll accept it. If you do it on a Sunday then you're a piece of shit and I'll hate you for a long time for it, including those participating in the event, thus meaning the cyclists. So congrats guys, I hate you all. Not only for your stupidity in traffic, but also how manage to piss me off while I'm not driving. Fuck you all!

Until later, drinkers.

Sweden isn't all that bad + transfer "news"

So, silly season is on, with the media enjoying football players who doesn't know what to say or they say it in a way that allows the media whores to interpret it exactly the way they want to. For instance if Fabregas said "Barcelona is a very good club"(which would be true, considering them taking the treble...) The Sun will write "Fabregas soon to sign for Barcelona". That's basically what it's all about, and until you see the player standing photographed with his new club shirt in his hand with his new manager, you can't trust a word of what is said. It's not because it's a conspiracy theory, but it's basically that 90% of what is in the media today is bullshit or not interesting at all.

In other news, Sweden fucking rules. Ok, maybe not rules, but I have to give them some credit. In Malmö they have now allowed women to bathe topless in public swimmingpools. It's fucking epic. It's fucking fantastic. Why isnt' this legal everywhere? Ok, so odds are that only 40+ women who have had a minimum of 4 kids that have been breastfed will be going topless, and the chance for Megan Fox looking women going topless there are close to none(however, you never know with Sweden), but still.
What are people afraid of? Are they afraid that breasts will be shown to kids? Is it because it's sexual? What if the kid is more into toes than tits? "Excuse me, miss. Will you please take som socks on? My son gets sexually aroused when he sees toes." Jesus Christ.

I vote for that we get this done here in Norway as well, and everywhere else in the world. If not because we find it sexy, then because equal rights. When there are men that have bigger breasts than Jordan before she took the silicon out(this is after), then why can't these poor women be allowed to show theirs as well.

In other more amusing news, reports from Tasmania say that Wallabies(not the Australian rugby team) are getting high on opium poppeys that are legally grown for the medical industry. They eat the flowers and then get high and jump around. Am I the only person that's picturing high wallabies jumping in poppey fields while "jump around" is played on a big stereo with a wallabie with a headset is scratching on records? I think that would be fucking awesome. If anyone knows anyone that can makes videos like this, tell them to do it. I want to see it...

Until next time, jumpers.

Kids? doesn't matter

I saw a movie today that almost sickened me, and I've seen a whole lot of weird and sick shit in my time. The movie(very strong pictures, but I guess you won't heed this warning...) shows a 14 yo girl being beaten and kicked and thrown to a concrete wall and down on the ground. As if that isn't sickening enough, the attacker is a 15yo school mate(also girl), and they know each other. She picked her up at a mutual friend's place and asked her to go with her and her friends to a youth club. On the way she hits her with a plank(not shown on the video) and starts to kick and hit. As if all this doesn't make your stomach convulse and vomit, a 16yo girl films the entire thing(and later puts it on youtube. Video is now pulled) and a 17yo lad is filmed as he stands 2-3 meters away, just watching and smoking his fag.

The whole situation is so bizarre and surreal that if I hadn't seen the video myself I would have difficulties believing it, but there it is. All filmed on a mobile camera. In the report on VG-Nett the prosecutor says he might consider taking them in for some sort of counselling thing, thus settling it out of court and giving them a suspended sentence. Fucking why? It's obviously carefully planned and premeditated. If an adult had done this then they would have been sentenced to real hard time and people would demanding their heads on a plate. Why should we make a differnce? Just because they're kids? They aren't kids, they are youths. The fact that they placed it out on youtube means that it wasn't something that just happened and they regret it afterwards. They knew what they had done and was actually proud enough of what they had done that they posted it on the net.

So what should happen with these kids? Well, I think it's obvious that the 17 yo lad should be sentenced for assult, aggrevated or premeditated or whatever they call it and sent to jail for a fucking long time. Minimum time of 5 years should do the trick. Same for the 16yo girl, as I don't believe she is considered a minor when it comes to court, and even if she is that shouldn't mean shit in this case. When it comes to the 15yo I wouldn't mind sending her to prison either. A suspended sentence is basically a slap on the wrist and "don't do it again or we send you to jail". That's what you get when you're fighting drunk at 4 AM with the bastard that snuck ahead of you in the taxi line. Send her to prison for a year at least, hard time. Show her that no matter what you do, it will have consequenses for you, and something as serious as that should get bigger consequenses than hearing a copper say "Do you know what you did? Do you regret it? Good, then behave well for the next 7 years or so and you won't go to prison". I think they should be made an example of. I might sound like a dictator or something, but this is a trend that needs to be killed at the very start. As kids get to experience more violence through TV and games they also need to be taught that there is a very clear line between games and reality. Do this in GTA IV and you'll get busted, need to buy your weapons again. Do this in real life and your arse will go to jail.

Am I too harsh on these kids? I don't think so. Kids these days want to act as adults and live life as adults; drinking, smoking, sex and so on. Then let them feel that adult life isn't all drinking and partying. Show them that the moment you act like an adult you will feel the same consequenses as an adult. If I ever see something like that happen, I will have no problems punching them unconcious, even if they are 16. A hard punch to the back of the head on the girl with the cam, a leg break before a a jaw break on the lad and folded hands on the chin of the girl doing the beating. Learning them that you shouldn't start something unless you can handle the consequenses, even if the other one breaks the law as well.

Throw the rules out the window, odds are you'll go the same way too.
-Max Payne

A hard weekend

I fucking hate painting. I don't mean painting pretty pictures and all that(I can't paint pretty pictures even if my life depended on it), but painting walls and ceilings and stuff like that. It's fucking boring. And then when your arms grow tired after painting the ceiling, and every stroke of the brush you do begins to hurt like hell, that's fucking fantastic, isn't it? And then the paint begins to drip, and you're all fucked up. I fucking hate painting.

On to happier news, I was almost drunk on Friday=). Although when it goes to not so happy news I had a terrible hangover the day after. Once again, I slept at my cousin's place. I think that the place is cursed.

Last time I slept there I was woken by the fire alarm. This time, I was woken up by sound tests. They had this cycling event called The North Sea Ride(or something like that. Translating on a Sunday isn't all that easy) and Sandnes downtown was the finishing line. So of course they had a big stage there with a bundle of speakers. And then after 10 minutes of "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey" they put on the theme music for "Pirates of the Caribbean". How wonderful isn't that? Bah. I hate cyclists now, even if I am one occasionally. Then we can have a syllogism to end today's event:

I hate cyclists
Sometimes I am a cyclist
I hate myself

In other news, inspired by my previous post I have now started Sarcasm News Network, basically a blog where I post 100% untrue news. It's only for entertainment and if you do believe it then I suggest you go shoot yourself. It will be update with the same interval as this blog i.e. whenever I feel like it.

Until later, news readers.

Sarcasm News Network(SNN): Al-Qaida feels the credit crunch

SNN: The terrorist organisation Al-Qaida is feeling the credit crunch like all other organisations and companies around the world. In an audio clip posted on a web site that Al-Qaida frequently use as a broadcasting site to the world, one of Al-Qaida's leaders, Mustafa Abu al-Yazid, says that insurgents in Afghanistan are struggling with a lack of resources and equipment, thus making them less effective in combat. al-Yazid urges sympathisers to give money to Al-Qaida so they can give the invading forces a proper fight again. Although the statement has yet to be verified, prominent figures in the world economy has already stated that something must be done about the situation.

Former ASU president Georgina V. Bash said that funds must be given to Al-Qaida so that the war in both Afghanistan and Iraq can continue.

The need for an enemy can not be underestimated. Not only is the weapons production a vital part of our economy, but over 1 million ASU citizens are employed in our armed forces, with many more civilians directly or indirectly employed by the Department of Defence.

Although Bash insisted that ASU need an enemy, he also states that it can not be anyone besides Al-Qaida.

Although there is the possibility that we can turn towards the communists states of China and North-Korea, they are not such ideal targets as Al-Qaida. Both these states have nuclear weapons and unless we can agree on terms during the war that nuclear weapons won't be used, which is highly unlikely since you can't trust a communist, fighting and hating communism is so 60's and 70's.

Other prominant figures in world economy has apperantly already been in contact with the World Bank and asking if there is a chance for Al-Qaida to be given a considerable loan for the war effort. Other suggestions are direct weapons support to Al-Qaida consisting of old Soviet tanks and ammunition.

Bash continues with that if Al-Qaida isn't given the proper support, soldiers deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan could be forced to return home, which will make it more difficult for their wives to have affairs with peace activists, or they could end up sitting in camp playing World of Warcraft all day long, something he describes as a fate worse than death.



P.S.: Everything except the two first sentences are complete bollocks and must not be taken serious under any circumstance. If done you really are the proof that survival of the fittest excists no more...

Nature goes against nature.

A gay penguin couple(!) in Bremerhaven Zoo in Germany(it just had to be the Germans, didn't it?) has actually adopted a penguin egg and hatched the chicken and are now taking care of it. Three years ago the zookeepers found out that all six penguins in the pen were male, even though they had been making nests and forming couples. Basically, the penguins turned gay and even when they got four female penguins from Sweden(and we all know Swedish chicks are extremely hot, so if there was any nationality that the femme pingouin had to come from to turn the gays around, it had to be Sweden) only one straight couple was formed.
The straight couple later got two eggs, and just like in the wild, they decided not to care about the second. The keepers got an idea; give the odd egg out to the gay couple. It was an instant sucess. The gay penguins did like the straight pengiuns did; held the egg warm and protected it. When the chicken hatched they begun feeding it, like any penguin parent would.

I say call child protection. We can't have gay penguins adopting poor defensless eggs just because some deranged perverted zoo keepers thinks it seems like a good idea. Think about the role models this little chick will have. Instead of getting both female and male impulses in it's life, it will only have male impulses and be forced to watch disgusting gay penguin sex. And what if this chick is released into the wild? It won't take long before every penguin in the colony knows that he/she has gay parents; two dads and no mother. The poor creature. I think it will be the victim of such a hard bullying that it's grades at school will drop severly. In worst case this could turn him into a suicide penguin.
The really scary scenario is if this penguin decides to ally itself with killer whales and help them become more effective at hunting penguins. We are talking about a traitor here.

I think it's for the pengiun's own good if we act now and as quickly as possible remove this poor chicken from it's unnatural parents and place it in a more normal enviornment. This is not something we can accept in a modern world where morals already are on a huge decline. This decadence can not be allowed to continue. We must stop this now. I call for all those who still has a moral view to march with me against this horrible place called a Zoo and free the poor prisoner from it's homosexual prison. He/she must be saved!

An eventful Bank Holiday Weekend

Bank Holiday weekend is over, and it's back to normal way of life, except I'm having my exams on Thursday and Monday. FUCK! I hate exams. Luckily these are only orals, so I it's possible to dig yourself out of the hole.

Friday consisted of work before heading up to my grandmother. Me, my mom, two uncles and an aunt helped her moving shit out of the living room. She's redecorating or whatever the word is. Basically we're tearing down the tapestry and pro's will arrive tomorrow(that's Tuesday) to put up some new shit. After moving shit out and tearing down some of the tapestry I was sent out to mow the lawn. Now, this isn't one of them small lawns that you see downtown where you can barely fit a grill and a table with four chairs. This lawn is part of a Caravan Park, meaning fucking big. Took me a good couple of hours on Friday and a good couple of hours today to get it done. If I had to do all that with one of those small ones instead of the tractor kind I guess I would be doing the shit all weekend, and not just a couple of hours.

But God damn it's boring work. You're just sitting there, following a trail and waiting for that loud fucking noise that tells you that it's full and needs to be emptied. And then suddenly it decides that now is a good time to stuff the "tunnel" from the knives to the bag in the back, leaving a trail of mushy grass behind you, which in turn requires you to stick your arm down and dig out the grass that's gotten stuck. And to top it all off I'm now heavily sun burned on my lower thighs. I had sunglasses and music so it wouldn't be a miserable time, but I forgot sunscreen. It hurts. It hurts really bad. Fucking sun. Why is it that you never notice the sunburns before it's too late? And people say that God doesn't have a sense of humour.

Saturday was a good day though. I spent most of the day with my cousin(after mowing the lawns at home YAY!) drinking beer and coke and playing Wii. Wii is a genious invention. Mostly we played Supersmash Bros Brawl. We played and drank until about 4 a.m. Had a look out the window and noticed it was beginning to brighten up. Never a good sign. Well, we passed the 10 hour mark at least and the day after(woke up at 2 p.m) we passed the 500 K.O. mark. Hoping to reach the 30 Hour mark next time.

Well, not much more to talk about. Until next time, Brawlers.

More tears for souvenirs and Man Who get what they deserve

So, it's more tears for Ålgård who went out of the cup after a 2-3 loss for Viking. They shouldn't be ashamed though. They took the lead, went under 1-2, fought back for a 2-2 and then almost equalised on 2-3. They fought hard, and although Viking did show every now and then that they were a bit better, the match could easily have gone to extra time or even penalties, or things could just as easily have gone Ålgård's way. I think the important thing to note here is that Ålgård is a 2. divison club while Viking is a Tippeliga club(sort of like Coca Cola League 1 vs. Premier League). The lads should be proud of what they did today.

Ålgård's first goal was a shocker in the first minute. People were still walking in when the ball found the back of the net. Viking equalised from what I would consider a very dodgy penalty decision. I have seen those sorts of decisions go either way, given or not given and to me it seemed like the ref took a very long time deciding before he blew the whistle and pointed at the spot. That shows to me that it was a very hard decision to make, and those decisions can just as easily be waved off. It's a situation I wouldn't mind seeing again.

I must admit that the two other goals from Viking could be blamed on a somewhat sleepy defence, but you can't blame them. They are playing against professional footballplayers who earn more a week than what their own coaches earn a year(as coaches that is). The "errors" that were made in defence happens all the time in the top leagues of any country and today was the day Ålgård had one of those. But I must say that you can't take anything away from the lads. They gave it all and I think the coaches should be more than pleased with their performance. It's not often you see such a commitment in football players as we saw today. They gave it all until the ref blew the final whistle, and although I as a supporter and spectator had given up hope in the end, it didn't seem like the lads had.

The strange thing about the match is how I feel now, afterwards. Last time I was at an Ålgård match was last year some time during the summer. I remember I was at another match with Ålgård many many years ago, but all in all I think I've only seen 3 Ålgård matches, still I feel really down. I am a local man, and I will support my local team, but I don't know the name of even half the players. I know more about Arsenal than I know about my local team. Maybe that just make me a dedicated Arsenal fan, but still I think I should know a bit more about them. I don't even know their position on the table, how many matches they've played, number of points or who they've played against. I guess you could say that I only went to this match because I didn't have anything better to do. Still I feel rather depressed and empty due to the defeat. The lads gave it all, and I feel sorry for them. It's not just normal empathy either, it's the real supporter sorrow you feel after your team has had a narrow loss when you've seen they have given it all. It's strange.


On to some happier news. If you haven't heard it yet, Man Who lost against Barcelona in the Champions League final yesterday. It was fucking great. Although I would have wanted to see Man Who get thoroughly beaten it still was very good to watch them crash and burn in a 2-0 defeat. The thing that made it better was that girly girly ronnie said that it was one of the worst experiences in his life, making it even better. I want nothing good to happen to that cunt. I don't want him dead, oh no. I want him to live a long life, preferably a long and miserable life. Call me an asshole, I don't care. I hate the fucker and watching him pout yesterday as Barcelona lifted the trophy was so good that you just have to experience it.

The crappy thing was that I lost reception half way through the first half, and even though I was standing outside fixing what I thought was the problem during a rainshower that would have made Noah look out and say "Holy fuck!" I still didn't get it in because of the damn rain. I fucking hate rain...

Until later, rain(wo)men

Eurovision row and Evra shows Man Who are filled with cunts

The city where the Eurovision will be held next year has been the decided. And the winner is; Oslo. It's about as much as a shock as when a member of the KKK says that he doesn't like African Americans. Realistically there weren't many other places it could be. Bergen was the other competitor and maybe even Stavanger. Apparently the European Broadcast Union(EBU) demands that there should be at least 15 000 hotel beds avalible in the city where it's held, which basically rules out another of the contenders for the placement; Tromsø.

Tromsø have been whining for about a year how the South of Norway is against them and won't let them have anything. This is because the Government refused to give a financial guarantee for their request of hosting the winter olympics in 2018, basically eliminitaing any hope for them beeing elected by the IOC. This was not something that they took very well. In fact it was only a couple of steps before they rioted and claimed independence from Norway. The discussion about if this would have been a win-win situation will be left for another day. What they can do is what The Onion reports that Texas is doing, which is building a wall around the state to stop Americans entering.

Anyway, they are yet again complaining that the South wants to shut them out, this time by placing the Eurovision finals in Oslo. Yes, we are indeed trying to shut you out from the rest of us. Not only are we going to place the Eurovision finals in Oslo, our capital, but we are also going to continue to play any international football matches here, we will keep our government here and The Castle where the King lives will remain in Oslo. We are just waiting for you to start a full scale riot which will develop into a civil war, so we have an excuse to bomb your arses back to the stone age. Come on, show us what you got!

From wankers in North of Norway to cunts in Manchester. The Man Who player Patrice(sounds like a girls name, doesn't it?) Evra is challenging our glorious leader Cesc Fabregas to a fight outside the pitch and says

We will meet outside the pitch and this time there won't be a ref to hand out a red card.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Is he actually serious? Is he expecting that Fabregas will show up in some dark alley and fight him, just because he felt that Fab did a bad challenge on him? What's next? He's going to demand execution for people who scores against Man Who? Lashes with a whip for those who run around him with the ball and leaves him standing like the idiot he is? Evra has all the makings of a sociopath; a lunatic who can't control his temper and thinks the only way out of a problem is to fight.

Besides, as one of the commentators on the news page said; A Frenchman willing to fight?
I don't think he's all that tough. I would guess all talk and no walk. I can let out my sociopathic feelings and see if he wants to fight with me, see how tough he is when he's faced with the real deal. I bet the fucker will run away with his tail between his legs. Who knows, maybe he'll show up and stand like Karate Kid does in one of the movies, you know that strange looking stance where he's on one leg and both hands are up in the air and pointing downwards. I might laugh so hard that he'd win.

Until later, fighters...

Junkies screams facism when busted

A celebrity stripper(daughter of a Norwegian singer) got busted and fined after the cops searched her place following a statement she had on a TV show where she said she was high. Then she goes to the media and her lawyer states that it is

Surprising that they choose to show up at dawn [with 4 police officers and a sniffer dog] and search her appartment based on what has been said on a TV show where people state their opinions.

The coppers found 0.85 grams of weed and she was eventually fined 2500 NOK. I would also believe that it goes on her permanent record that she has been possessing controlled substances(i.e. junkie). As it wasn't bad enough that this dumb bitch has been given so much media time, it has also resulted in angry bloggers stating that it's an act of terror and facism.

Reason it's terror and facism: coppers doing a house raid after getting a search warrent based on the person living there admits that she is currently using narcotics.
Watch out Osama. A new and more organised group of terrorists are entering our country, and they got uniforms!

But seriously, people get angry and calls it facism because the police actually do their jobs? What's next? The coppers will be yelled at because they arrests a terrorist when they only found plans for a terrorist act and Osama's private cell phone number? Jesus fucking Christ.
I applaud the coppers for doing this. She deserves to get whatever she got coming, because of;
1. She showed up high on a TV show.
2. She admitted she was high on a TV show.
3. She wasn't smart enough to suspect that the coppers might be on to something when they have what they need for a search warrant based on what she said.
4. She goes out to the media complaining about coppers doing their job.

The dumb blonde(what a shocker) has now been added to my hate list.

What annoyes me(about this. A lot of other things that annoyes me, like ronnie or republicans or ronnie or crappy commercials) is that people call this facism and terror. How the fuck can this be terror? She did something ILLEGAL. Feel the word. ILLEGAL. It means "not legal", meaning "something that if done is against the law and thus punishable". It's like if I went out and robbed a bank and admitted it on national television I should go out shocked after I got busted crying out "Why have the police arrested me for doing this?" or something similar. It's the same thing. You break the law, you get your as whipped(you can also get your ass whipped should you ignore your girlfriend when she asks you to take out the trash). Simple as that. She got what she deserved, although she shouldn't be getting all the media attention.

I think it's a good thing that cops strike down on this. It gives out a signal that if they know that you do anything illegal, they will take you down for it. What sort of signal would they be sending if she didn't suffer the consequenses that she did? Basically they would be saying
"we don't care if you are using or are in possession of controlled substances, as long as it's not large quantities. We know it's against the law to even have a fraction of a gram of this stuff in your house, but we don't really care about the law. We are coppers after all."
I say bust the bitch and make her pay. If she had been in possession of enough of the weed to be sent to court, the judge should have given her the maximum sentence, just to state an example.

"Aww, we poor junkies aren't allowed to smoke a joint or two without the police barging down our doors."

No, you fucking aren't, and it's a fucking good thing too. I think they should start a harder line on all the users. Although death penalty or breaking a figner or two so they can't roll the fucking joint might be a bit harsh(then we would be just like the muslims!!!!) a heavy fine or a couple of days in jail might do them some good. Show the junkie nutters that breaking the law will have consequenses and that we don't take any of their shit. It's my tax money that pays for their welfare checks and I don't want to see my hard earned money go into some dodgy retard of a dealer who wasn't smart enough to get a proper job, like McDonald's or cleaning up the vomit after I've been out drunk and throwing up on the pavement. Give them a heavy fine or send them to a work camp where they can stand out in the sun/rain/wind/blizzard/whatever and break stone into gravel 12 hours a day. Maybe that will teach 'em a lesson.

Until next time, junkies.

Tears for souvenirs

Final round of the Premier League is over. The season is over and I'm now stuck with boring Norwegian football and cricket. There'll probably be some tennis too. Well, that is until silly season starts.

But a lot of fans are left with tears for souvenirs as SKY Sports' commentators during the League 1 Play Off final said it, in this case referring to Millwall who fought back a 1-0 deffacite to a 2-1 lead until collapsing again and losing 3-2. It was a good match, one of the best matches I've seen this season, but a good show wasn't good enough for Millwall today. I feel for the fans, I really do. I know how it is to be a fan and watch as your team loose a final. It hurts. A person that isn't a die hard supporter like the rest of us will never understand it. Loosing a final is never good, either it's the Play Off's or a Champions League final. No matter what you're stuck with a feeling that all the hard work you've put into the competition this season is now worth nothing. You get to see the trophy, but you know that you will never lift it, and as a fan you have to watch the other team lift it, and also watch how the other fans cry of joy while your tears of despair are running down your cheeks. I'd take a kick in the balls any day before watching Arsenal loose a final, especially a final where I've seen the lads give it all.

Newcastle and Middelsborough fans also shedded their tears today as they were relegated down to the Championship. Personally I'm pissed off as hell because Whores(Hull City) managed to stay up, but as Andy Gray said; If you're not good enough for this league you will be found out of, and that quickly. That's what happened to Newcastle and Boro this season. I can't imagine how it feels for their supporters right now. I think it is bad to watch your team get relegated, but knowing that your team has played like crap and obviously haven't given their best effort all season doesn't ease the pain. Boro and Newcastle have played like crap almost every game, and they deserve nothing but relegation, but even though I hate Newcastle, or at least dislike strongly(due to the Geordies), I still think The Magpies belong in the Premier League.

St. Jamses Park is known for it's good atmosphere(although it was shait when I was there), an atmosphere that very few Premier League clubs can copy. I think the only clubs that I've seen has better supporters is Derby County. The club was relegated last season with the fewest amount of points ever in the Premier League, but still the club filled it's stadium every match. I think that's a thing worthy of great respect. People always talk about how Liverpool has such a great atmosphere with The Kop and everything, but they have success at least. They have a geniuine chance every season to take a trophy. They are considered one of the big four. Derby is considered a rubbish club, but still their fans are more loyal than Liverpool's fans, at least in my eyes. You'll always have the hard core that will support their team no matter what, but you also have a lot of people that supports the team because they win. Usually those people can only name two players in the club and they all deserve to be shot, but with success comes groupies.

So, I wish best of all to the true fans of the clubs that are relegated and I hope that the groupies get shot.

Until next time, blog readers.

A lot of sheep, both if in England and in Norway...

So, a whole bunch of sheep shit to go through today.

First of all, Arsenal's captain Cesc Fabregas was yesterday cleared from the allegations that he spat at Hull's assistant manager Brian Horton(couldn't find a link on Skysports or The Guardian). All I'm asking now is that someone gives Hull manager Phil Brown a link to this blog or just copies what I've said and sends it to him one way or another, because this is going to be good=):

Phil, you are a bitter man. A very bitter and foul man. You are the only manager in Premier League and probably also in the Championship, League 1 and League 2 that wears a fucking bluetooth headseat during matches. What the fuck's the point? Do you think it makes your decisions better, or do you have contact with some dude that sits at home and is really the manager of Hull FC? No matter what it is, you look like a twat.

Some might say that "Ok, so he looks like a twat but he has done great things with Hull". True, you have done big things with Hull, but it's obvious that it's gone to your head. It's obvious that you've become an arrogant piece of shit that can't handle defeat. When you kept your players on the pitch during half time at the 5-1 defeat against Macnhester City you showed that there are some things here in life that you are not capable of handling, and how to act when things are not going your way is one of them.

In the end you also showed your worth when you lied to the press after Wenger didn't shake your hand at your 2-1 loss against Arsenal in the FA Cup. You said that Wenger didn't shake your hand that match or after the two PL meetings between Arsenal and Hull. Pictures and videos showed that you either "forgot" or you had already started a smearing campaign against Arsenal, Wenger and Fabregas.

You said that you had loads of evidence against Fabregas and several witnesses, but tell me then why the FA now have ruled against you? Why haven't the FA said that "yes, Fabregas did spit on Brian Horton and there will be consequenses for him"? Could it be that the allegations were false, and that you thought it was better to start a circus of lies and false accusations than to admit that your team was(and still is) on a shitty run that might see you relegated. Should Hull get relagated I will enjoy this season as a success, even if Arsenal didn't win a single trophy.


Anyway, from one sheep to a horde of others. Brought in another bunch of sheep and lambs to give them vaccines against God knows what. One of the lambs had decided that yes, the grass is greener on the other side(of the fence) and was stuck there screaming for his mom. Now, a sheep that's standing alone is bad, but you can say that it certainly won't run straight towards me. A lamb on the otherhand, is as I've probably stated before, so unperdictable that it's scary. Give a kid with ADD a mixture of speed, amphetamine, sugar and caffeine and the kid will still be more predictable than the lamb. The lamb might find out that it's a good idea to run straight towards you. Luckily, with the help from my dog, I managed to press the lamb to realise that running straight into the fence was a much better option. It didn't get it over to the other side, but it was stuck there for about two seconds, long enough for me to run and grab it. I have increadible reflexes=P

But, as we all know, that a shitty start, even though you get the problem cleaned up quick, means that somewhere something is going to be really fucked up. This time it was three lambs breaking out through barricades and gates and into the fields. Long story short, one of the idiots actually managed to get stuck in a fence as the dog was chasing it. It was a wonderful sight:
A lamb stuck with it's head through a fence and the dog standing right behind it, guarding it an probably ready to kill it if it made a move the dog didn't like. Personally I was all for calling a mate of mine and ask him if he wanted some target practice. Oh, and I smell like crap now.

Until later, smelly cats...

Blowing the whistle

A very quiet day today. Woke up late, started marking mid terms. It's time consuming, but it has it's moments, the type of moments where you read through it and you realise that this is why I want to do this.

Then came what is more or less the highlight of the day. A mate from my old job asked if I could be a ref during a 7's match of football. The pitch was crap, and I mean really really crap, like the sort of pitch you would expect the local 12yo's to play at just for fun. It wasn't flat and it even had a rather large hole in it. One cone in each corner to draw the outline of the pitch and a street light post some 50-60 meters away was the spot we looked at to see where the halfway line was most likely to be, all in all, not a pitch you expect the World Cup final to be played at(although when countries like Greece wins the Euro, it just goes to show that ANYTHING can happen in football).

One might argue that having a rugbyplayer referee a football match might not be the smartest idea, but it all depends on what you want to see in a football match. If you want to see a match where there is no physical contact of any sort with a stop and go play, then I guess you're better off with a netball ref(Jesus Christ that game is fucking boring). However, if you want a game where shoulder to shoulder is accepted and divers like ronnie just gets a shake on the head from the ref who plays advantage whenever he can, I guess a rugbyplayer might be a good choice.

I'll admit that about 1/3 of the times I said the ball was either in or out of the pitch I had to guess, but come on, what can you do when there are no lines and no assistant referee and the teams decide to play cross balls? It kind of makes the job a bit more difficult. All credits to the players though; even if they sometimes were a bit frustrated they took every decision nicely, usually just by shaking their head or swearing low. They behaved nicely and no dangerous tackles were made(although one lad might have deserved a booking...)

So, what have I learned from this? I have no idea. I know that I might try to be a ref on a bit higher level(and hopefully with a better pitch), but that needs training. It also means that I need to start training a bit more. Now that will be a killer blow to my beerstomach(although I must admit that it has shrinked a bit lately. I have no idea why).

Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win
- Gary Lineker

Paperwork, more paperwork and I'm two papers from buying speed

First of all, let me mention that all the talk about Arsene Wenger leaving Arsenal is just pure and utter bullshit. The sources of these allegations are Spanish newspapers and people running for president in Real Madrid, leaving these two questions/answers.

1. Are Spanish newspapers a source that can be trusted when it comes to transfers?
2. Are people running for any kind of president(it be president of club or country) people you can trust won't tell a single lie? Especially when they are running for president in a football club in deep crisis after a humiliated season?

It goes without saying that both these questions can be answered with "FUCK NO". I vote for someone testing nuclear weapons on Santiago Bernabeu with the elected president and the spanish sports journalists in there. I think that could have been one step on the road for peace in the Middle East. Maybe not, but nothing else has worked and I can't see that this is a worse idea than anything those buggers down there has thought of up until this date.

I am now stuck with 20+ midterm papers I have to mark. It's not the worst job in the world. I bet it sounds a lot worse than it actually is. It's not boring, it's just time consuming. You'd be amased from what kids these days can produce. I don't think I was that good when I was their age. I certainly prefer marking midterms before standing in a warm pizzaplace making the same pizza over and over again. Only problem is that you need motivation to do it, and without motivation you're fucked up. I'm just glad I don't have more than one class in this.

Also, I passed my litterature written exam. I got a C. The battle is won, but the war is far from over.

gitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
Therefore, whoever wishes for peace, let him prepare for war.
- Vegetius

Chelski fans' plan for world domination fails, AGAIN!

So, the Eurovision is over for now, and guess what; Norway actually won. 387 points, biggest amount of points ever, with a margin of 169 down to Iceland, also biggest ever, and an average of 9,4 from each country, which probably also is the highest average, but I'm not sure here. Anyway, the bugger won and congrats to him.

The worst thing about this is that now his face is going to be all over the news and I won't be able to go anywhere without seeing him or hearing the song. This means that I can't listen to the radio for the next three to four months. That will seriously fuck me up if I have to listen to it time and time again. Thankfully, I have installed a car stereo, so I can listen to Rammstein instead of Fairytale.

However, nothing is so bad that it's not good for something. First one may mention that the British newspaper The Guardian had an "expert" updating their page about the Euro as the show went on. Now, the funny thing about it is that she apparently didn't like the Norwegian contribution to this contest. She said:

a young cheeky little chap called Alexander Rybak. This is the favourite, apparently...umm, sorry?

He's like a little Dickensian schoolboy with a violin and bonkers eyebrows, and it's all very theatrical, with backing dancers in braces doing gymnastics. It's like a stage school performance of Fiddler On the Roof. Could someone please poke him in the eye with his violin bow, please? Fairytale my ass.

This cannot possibly win. I will not allow it.

Surprise! If there is one thing that's better than hearing your country's commentator scream when you're winning, it's listening to a rival country's commentator wail and complain about how shit the song is and can't win and then get smacked in the face with reality. Sort of like the Swedish commentators during the 4x10 relay for men in 2007 where the Norwegian said "Thanks for the ride, lads" and more or less parked Södergren and Dementjev.

To those of you who have read my blog you'll probably remember that I commented on the Chelski fans' plans to destroy Norway's Eurovision dream. Talk about a plan backfiring at you. Jesus Christ. Their plans to assemble their obviously very few supporters around Europe to vote down Rybakk ended in what can only be described as total failure. The Bay of Pigs invasion seems like a full sucess in comparison. Maybe that made them realise that they don't have any supporters outside England except for a few retards(my cousins boyfriend included). Not only did Norway send the out of the Champions League, we also crushed them in the Eurovison. BURN! I suggest you lot stick to football. At least that's something you are somewhat decent in, and I mean the supporters, not the players, because they are all cunts. Just look at Drogba, Ballack, Cashley Cunt and Fat Frank and you'll see what I mean.

Until next time, infidels.

Crime against humanity continues and crashes all around...

So, we're one day away from the grand Eurovision Ding Dong final. If only it had been the final show, ever. It would have made me a very happy man, but then again; what should the media go on about? 1/3 of any news report in Norwegian media is about Rybakk and his Eurovision contest. People might think that only good can come out of this, one single day when all of Europe gathers in peace and listens to crappy music. I have my doubts. I have a very good argument against Eurovision now. It's not something you can write or say, it just has to be shown. Here is the final proof that very little, if any good comes out of Eurovision. I feel sad for the parents. If I were forced to listen to that kid scream I would have gone mad. Wouldn't have hit him or anything, but a sock pushed gently into his mouth should calm things down. Call me a cold hearted sun of a bitch, see if I care.

So, once again, today was the day we were bringing in the wonderful sheep and lambs to vaccinate them against different things. As always, this didn't occur without problems.
First, some of the bastards almost managed to elude our vision as we went to move them around a bit. Then, most of the sheep were in a completely different spot than where they were supposed to be, leaving me running more than I needed and thinking "Where the fuck are they?". Seems like the fence weren't completely sheep proof...

As the wild bunch were moved around more or less sucessfully, this only left the tiny little thing of getting them inside where the vaccines would be administered. Of course getting them through the first gate out on the dirt road weren't without problems. Their lack of will to move forward was rather annoying. Ever seen those nature documentaries where you have the Wildebeests about to cross a river with plenty of nasty crocs in it? It was the same hesitation and the same noise, only with "bah" instead of "muh" or whatever sound those animals make.

As they were about to enter the door one little bastard decided that this was not a place he wanted to be and jumped through the barricades. This resulted in me running after him to chase him back. Of course he didn't hesitate to do it again, little wanker. If he had done it again it would be lamb chops for dinner, home slaughtered. Would just have to pick out a lot of shotgun pellets, that's all.

After the adminstering of the vaccine was done we had to let them out. Can't be bothered to keep them inside. Have to feed them then. As usual I were given the job to do the preparations. Setting out those triangles you have in the car when your car breaks down on the road to warn the cars so they don't drive 80km/h straight through the herd. As I couldn't be bothered to walk I took my bike. After opening the gates and placing the triangles I was on my way up the dirt road when the bike suddenly found out that this was an excellent moment to hook of the chain and send me more or less over the handle and down into the dirt. Through my experience, although it is very small, as a rugby player I think I acted instinctivly and landed in a way that only shreeded one elbow, the palm of a hand and a knee. It's just minor wounds and very little/no blood at all, but it still stings like hell. The wounds still aren't clean, so if I suddenly stop writing this then I've been killed from the dirt poisoning my blood.

Who knows, maybe this is the way I die. A little less memorable than being killed by my own son while I'm an Emperor.

Et tu, Brute

Polish sex, mean women, bad music and worthless news...

A pretty slow day today. I've been using my day off to relax and watch Band of Brothers and playing Need for Speed Most Wanted. I think my mom was planning on me mowing the lawn, but you can guess how willing I was to do that.

The second semi final in the Eurovision kicks off tonight. Although the media bombards me with it, I still don't care. The chelski supporters can care all they want, but I don't give a crap. Unlike them I don't boycott a specific country, I boycott the entire event. Have you heard the songs that win? Here's the winner from 1985. Two Norwegian chicks who can't sing. That more or less sets the standard I'm afraid. This event should go under crime against humanity.

In other music news The Sun gives ronnie a red card when it comes to his music taste. I can understand why. The "thing" loves ricky martin. ricky martin. yes, ricky martin. I thought it was only 15yo girls who just hit puberty and 45yo divorced women who hasn't had sex since they conceeded their fourth child eight years ago that listened to that crap. It's not even good music. It's far from good music.
But, I guess it fits the diver pretty good to listen to ricky martin. It mirrors his personality completely; being a slick cunt that has gone through a full body wax(although it is unnecessary since all the hair he grows in on his scalp) and won't get any facial hair ever. Also add thinks he's the worlds best at what he does and dresses like a girl and you got a match.

I thought I should have another lash at the styling artist Jan Thomas that we all so love and care about. Why is he allowed to show his face in the media? This time it's because a Norwegian comedian apperantly is just as mean and cruel in reality as she is on stage. He says a whole lot more but it can be summariesed with this:

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW

and

Mommy, the woman on stage is mean to me...

That's pretty much how he goes, exchanging mommy with media. If his parents don't want to talk with him I can understand that. I don't mean because he's gay, not at all, but because he's a complete and utter cunt. If my kid behaved like that I would plant my foot so far up his arse that he wouldn't be able to talk. He deserves a good beating, maybe even a fatal one. No matter what he deserves, we all deserve to not be forced to see his face in every website we log into(hence the reason I don't have pics here on my site. I'm all for protecting the vulnerable minds). I wonder if he pays the media to get his face plastered all over it. I wouldn't be one bit surprised if it was true. Can someone please punch him? I would give a reward to those who do it, but it's not legal, so I can't officially announce a reward. Too bad to be honest. It would be a bit amusing though if some kick ass hacker read this and hacked into FBI's database and placed the fucker on the US government most wanted list. They can come and pick him up anytime they want to.

Also happy news to all you Catholics out there; You can have a lot of sex(no protection though) and you can experiment. According to a new book that's been published by a Polish padre in the Catholic church it is vital that married couples have sex to uphold the marriatal bond or something like that. I didn't grasp everything in the article, but it simply says; Catholic church gives green light for sex even just for pleasure. I bet you lot didn't see that one coming, did you? Well, I'm not completely surprised though. According to a mate of mine it is often the most religious girls that are wildest under the covers. It is a bit of a bummer though if she's that kind of girl that only wants to have sex after marriage. Then you can't bail out if the theory is a bit flawed. Well, you can, but it's a bit more paperwork than just "It's over between you and me I'm afraid".
It's weird that the Protestant haven't made a book like "Sex for Protestants" yet. That's a book I'm looking forward to. Compare the accepted sex life of Protestants and Catholics.

Another thing worth mentioning is that the world stopped today. Yup, you might not have noticed it, but it happened. I'm not kidding either. At approxamatly 17:30 CET Google had problems. It was apperantly slow at loading. Gmail and Google Maps were among the parts that struggled. I quote

I'm terrified of how independent I am of Google

Jesus fucking Christ. Google had troubles for an hour or so and you're complaining like the world is about to end. I have yet to check the stock markets all around, but I bet that Dow Jones went down a couple percent when the situation became clear. I wonder how many lost their homes and how many jobs were lost because of Google struggling for an hour, max. I know I use the net a lot, but I'm not crying whenever a site is struggling and twittering to the media out of frustration.

GET A LIFE!

I hope the rest of you will have one until next time.

Chelski supporters shows no understanding of importance and written exam is over(hopefully)

So, a couple of days ago the brilliant Chelski supporters(in England, not in Norway) have decided to avenge referee Tom Henning Øvrebø's refereeing in Chelski's Champions League match against Barcelona at Skunkfort Brat(it honestly smelled bad there when I was there). They have turned their rage against Norway as a country and not Øvrebø as a person, and in their rage they have urged Chelski supporters around Europe not to vote on the Norwegian competator in this week's Eurovision Song Contest(or whatever the hell it's called). They want to hit back;

in a way that really hurts, so we will do what we can to deny them the pleasure of bringing the Eurovision trophy home.

.....



Seriously: .......


I'm speechless....

Ok, I'm not, but COME ON! If it had been 1st of April I would have laughed at NRK for not finding a better April fool than that...

First: They decide to boycot an entire nation just because a ref didn't decided dodgy decisions in Chelski's favour? You've got to be fucking kidding me. What are they going to do next time they get dodgy decisions against them from an English ref? Boycot cows from Yorkshire? Boycot beer from Newcastle area?

Second: They want to hurt us where Norway as a nation really feels it, and they're gonna sabotage Alexander Rybakk's chance to take the glorious and much wanted Eurovision trophy? You've got to be fucking kidding me, AGAIN! Is the Eurovision really that big in England? I watched that when I was a kid. Last time I watched with two mates and a girl. We lads decided who should win based upon which singer had the best tits. That's how serious the majority of Norwegians take it. What are they going to boycot next from Norway? Youtube videos from Norway? Blogs from Norway? Youtube Videoblogs from Norway? Jesus fucking Christ. Are the Chelski supporters as stupid as I think they are now? I know the Norwegian ones are more or less sane(except my cousin's boyfriend), but I'm beginning to doubt the English ones.


In other not as hillarious news I'm finished with my written exams, hopefully, if I pass them. If I fail I'm not finished with them, but I guess a person as bright as you already figured that out, since you are smart enough to come in here and read my blog(Jesus Christ my fingers are dancing over the keyboard now. I'm typing increadibly fast. Maybe I should start smoking some weed to slow me down). Now I only have two oral exams left(no naughty thoughts now...) and then I just have some work left before the summer holiday is here(ha. wrote this part with my eyes closed. Lima Victor!!!!). Hopefully I will get some acceptable grades and get in on my master program next year. Then I will be at least somewhat closer to the end of this war.

Currently I'm listening to French Pop Music as I'm writing this stuff. I don't know what it does with me, but it is really weird, and somewhat great... Now I'll got and finish tagging my blog posts. Until next time, Eurovision voters.

The Ghost returns....

So, the Ghost is not gone yet. On Tuesday I have yet another written exam.
"The things that I want" by Knudi:
I want the exams to be over, to be finished with my education and live happily ever after with a steady job, wife, house, mortgage, dog and 2,4 kids.

The war with the Ghost is far from over. I have lost a few battles, battles which could be key battles for a final victory, but many battles have been won. The United Army of Knudi is marching steadily towards victory. Some battles have lasted for only a few days, while others lasted for days, weeks even. My generals have shown their skills and my soldiers have proven their value. I haven't even needed mercenaries.
However, the soldiers are growing tired. I believe their morale is low at the moment, but I have faith in them. With the ringing voices from the generals in their ears they will fight on. They will fight until fatigue strikes them and then they will fight some more. They have a long way ahead of them, but I believe D-Day is getting closer. The soldiers have set out in their landing crafts and are ready to battle once more. The strategy might have flaws, but the intelligence and my generals' ability to improvise are high. D-Day is here, and we will give it all. Should we loose many men on D-Day I can just hope for reinforcements and rest during the summer. Maybe the morale of my troops will rise.
I believe we might even get some help from above. St. Demetrius is watching over us, I think.
May God have mercy on our souls.

Arsenal lost 1-4 to Chelsea. Third place is out of sight and Diaby proved once again that he is useless. Why is that "man" playing on one of the best teams in the world?

Today I was rather active. I played football for 2 hours at what my cousins bf calls "Lanen" in Norwegian, a derivation of "The Lane". It's a small patch of astroturf he and his mates have played on for a long time. There were only six of us, so it ended up with a 3-a-side. Tomorrow my thighs will most likely be stiff as a board. I also ended up with soars under both my feet and my ankle, the kind of soars that comes from walking or running far in shoes that aren't the best. I will never use shoes with only six studs on astroturf again. It hurts like hell. Complaining aside(I played sport for fuck's sake, I'm entitled to it!) it was a good work out. I made some good saves as a goalkeeper(saving two penalties) and even scored a few goals(one header), although I probably missed more chances than I took. That kinda sucks. It was a good workout though, and I deserved the pizza and coke I consumed afterwards.

Right now it doesn't matter. Tuesday is yet another battle, another step on the road that hopefully ends this long war I've been fighting for now 16 years. I say like Marcus Antonius in Shakespear's play "Julius Caesar" Act 3 Scene 1:

Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.