Sarcasm News Network(SNN): Al-Qaida feels the credit crunch

SNN: The terrorist organisation Al-Qaida is feeling the credit crunch like all other organisations and companies around the world. In an audio clip posted on a web site that Al-Qaida frequently use as a broadcasting site to the world, one of Al-Qaida's leaders, Mustafa Abu al-Yazid, says that insurgents in Afghanistan are struggling with a lack of resources and equipment, thus making them less effective in combat. al-Yazid urges sympathisers to give money to Al-Qaida so they can give the invading forces a proper fight again. Although the statement has yet to be verified, prominent figures in the world economy has already stated that something must be done about the situation.

Former ASU president Georgina V. Bash said that funds must be given to Al-Qaida so that the war in both Afghanistan and Iraq can continue.

The need for an enemy can not be underestimated. Not only is the weapons production a vital part of our economy, but over 1 million ASU citizens are employed in our armed forces, with many more civilians directly or indirectly employed by the Department of Defence.

Although Bash insisted that ASU need an enemy, he also states that it can not be anyone besides Al-Qaida.

Although there is the possibility that we can turn towards the communists states of China and North-Korea, they are not such ideal targets as Al-Qaida. Both these states have nuclear weapons and unless we can agree on terms during the war that nuclear weapons won't be used, which is highly unlikely since you can't trust a communist, fighting and hating communism is so 60's and 70's.

Other prominant figures in world economy has apperantly already been in contact with the World Bank and asking if there is a chance for Al-Qaida to be given a considerable loan for the war effort. Other suggestions are direct weapons support to Al-Qaida consisting of old Soviet tanks and ammunition.

Bash continues with that if Al-Qaida isn't given the proper support, soldiers deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan could be forced to return home, which will make it more difficult for their wives to have affairs with peace activists, or they could end up sitting in camp playing World of Warcraft all day long, something he describes as a fate worse than death.



P.S.: Everything except the two first sentences are complete bollocks and must not be taken serious under any circumstance. If done you really are the proof that survival of the fittest excists no more...