More tears for souvenirs and Man Who get what they deserve

So, it's more tears for Ålgård who went out of the cup after a 2-3 loss for Viking. They shouldn't be ashamed though. They took the lead, went under 1-2, fought back for a 2-2 and then almost equalised on 2-3. They fought hard, and although Viking did show every now and then that they were a bit better, the match could easily have gone to extra time or even penalties, or things could just as easily have gone Ålgård's way. I think the important thing to note here is that Ålgård is a 2. divison club while Viking is a Tippeliga club(sort of like Coca Cola League 1 vs. Premier League). The lads should be proud of what they did today.

Ålgård's first goal was a shocker in the first minute. People were still walking in when the ball found the back of the net. Viking equalised from what I would consider a very dodgy penalty decision. I have seen those sorts of decisions go either way, given or not given and to me it seemed like the ref took a very long time deciding before he blew the whistle and pointed at the spot. That shows to me that it was a very hard decision to make, and those decisions can just as easily be waved off. It's a situation I wouldn't mind seeing again.

I must admit that the two other goals from Viking could be blamed on a somewhat sleepy defence, but you can't blame them. They are playing against professional footballplayers who earn more a week than what their own coaches earn a year(as coaches that is). The "errors" that were made in defence happens all the time in the top leagues of any country and today was the day Ålgård had one of those. But I must say that you can't take anything away from the lads. They gave it all and I think the coaches should be more than pleased with their performance. It's not often you see such a commitment in football players as we saw today. They gave it all until the ref blew the final whistle, and although I as a supporter and spectator had given up hope in the end, it didn't seem like the lads had.

The strange thing about the match is how I feel now, afterwards. Last time I was at an Ålgård match was last year some time during the summer. I remember I was at another match with Ålgård many many years ago, but all in all I think I've only seen 3 Ålgård matches, still I feel really down. I am a local man, and I will support my local team, but I don't know the name of even half the players. I know more about Arsenal than I know about my local team. Maybe that just make me a dedicated Arsenal fan, but still I think I should know a bit more about them. I don't even know their position on the table, how many matches they've played, number of points or who they've played against. I guess you could say that I only went to this match because I didn't have anything better to do. Still I feel rather depressed and empty due to the defeat. The lads gave it all, and I feel sorry for them. It's not just normal empathy either, it's the real supporter sorrow you feel after your team has had a narrow loss when you've seen they have given it all. It's strange.


On to some happier news. If you haven't heard it yet, Man Who lost against Barcelona in the Champions League final yesterday. It was fucking great. Although I would have wanted to see Man Who get thoroughly beaten it still was very good to watch them crash and burn in a 2-0 defeat. The thing that made it better was that girly girly ronnie said that it was one of the worst experiences in his life, making it even better. I want nothing good to happen to that cunt. I don't want him dead, oh no. I want him to live a long life, preferably a long and miserable life. Call me an asshole, I don't care. I hate the fucker and watching him pout yesterday as Barcelona lifted the trophy was so good that you just have to experience it.

The crappy thing was that I lost reception half way through the first half, and even though I was standing outside fixing what I thought was the problem during a rainshower that would have made Noah look out and say "Holy fuck!" I still didn't get it in because of the damn rain. I fucking hate rain...

Until later, rain(wo)men

Eurovision row and Evra shows Man Who are filled with cunts

The city where the Eurovision will be held next year has been the decided. And the winner is; Oslo. It's about as much as a shock as when a member of the KKK says that he doesn't like African Americans. Realistically there weren't many other places it could be. Bergen was the other competitor and maybe even Stavanger. Apparently the European Broadcast Union(EBU) demands that there should be at least 15 000 hotel beds avalible in the city where it's held, which basically rules out another of the contenders for the placement; Tromsø.

Tromsø have been whining for about a year how the South of Norway is against them and won't let them have anything. This is because the Government refused to give a financial guarantee for their request of hosting the winter olympics in 2018, basically eliminitaing any hope for them beeing elected by the IOC. This was not something that they took very well. In fact it was only a couple of steps before they rioted and claimed independence from Norway. The discussion about if this would have been a win-win situation will be left for another day. What they can do is what The Onion reports that Texas is doing, which is building a wall around the state to stop Americans entering.

Anyway, they are yet again complaining that the South wants to shut them out, this time by placing the Eurovision finals in Oslo. Yes, we are indeed trying to shut you out from the rest of us. Not only are we going to place the Eurovision finals in Oslo, our capital, but we are also going to continue to play any international football matches here, we will keep our government here and The Castle where the King lives will remain in Oslo. We are just waiting for you to start a full scale riot which will develop into a civil war, so we have an excuse to bomb your arses back to the stone age. Come on, show us what you got!

From wankers in North of Norway to cunts in Manchester. The Man Who player Patrice(sounds like a girls name, doesn't it?) Evra is challenging our glorious leader Cesc Fabregas to a fight outside the pitch and says

We will meet outside the pitch and this time there won't be a ref to hand out a red card.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Is he actually serious? Is he expecting that Fabregas will show up in some dark alley and fight him, just because he felt that Fab did a bad challenge on him? What's next? He's going to demand execution for people who scores against Man Who? Lashes with a whip for those who run around him with the ball and leaves him standing like the idiot he is? Evra has all the makings of a sociopath; a lunatic who can't control his temper and thinks the only way out of a problem is to fight.

Besides, as one of the commentators on the news page said; A Frenchman willing to fight?
I don't think he's all that tough. I would guess all talk and no walk. I can let out my sociopathic feelings and see if he wants to fight with me, see how tough he is when he's faced with the real deal. I bet the fucker will run away with his tail between his legs. Who knows, maybe he'll show up and stand like Karate Kid does in one of the movies, you know that strange looking stance where he's on one leg and both hands are up in the air and pointing downwards. I might laugh so hard that he'd win.

Until later, fighters...

Junkies screams facism when busted

A celebrity stripper(daughter of a Norwegian singer) got busted and fined after the cops searched her place following a statement she had on a TV show where she said she was high. Then she goes to the media and her lawyer states that it is

Surprising that they choose to show up at dawn [with 4 police officers and a sniffer dog] and search her appartment based on what has been said on a TV show where people state their opinions.

The coppers found 0.85 grams of weed and she was eventually fined 2500 NOK. I would also believe that it goes on her permanent record that she has been possessing controlled substances(i.e. junkie). As it wasn't bad enough that this dumb bitch has been given so much media time, it has also resulted in angry bloggers stating that it's an act of terror and facism.

Reason it's terror and facism: coppers doing a house raid after getting a search warrent based on the person living there admits that she is currently using narcotics.
Watch out Osama. A new and more organised group of terrorists are entering our country, and they got uniforms!

But seriously, people get angry and calls it facism because the police actually do their jobs? What's next? The coppers will be yelled at because they arrests a terrorist when they only found plans for a terrorist act and Osama's private cell phone number? Jesus fucking Christ.
I applaud the coppers for doing this. She deserves to get whatever she got coming, because of;
1. She showed up high on a TV show.
2. She admitted she was high on a TV show.
3. She wasn't smart enough to suspect that the coppers might be on to something when they have what they need for a search warrant based on what she said.
4. She goes out to the media complaining about coppers doing their job.

The dumb blonde(what a shocker) has now been added to my hate list.

What annoyes me(about this. A lot of other things that annoyes me, like ronnie or republicans or ronnie or crappy commercials) is that people call this facism and terror. How the fuck can this be terror? She did something ILLEGAL. Feel the word. ILLEGAL. It means "not legal", meaning "something that if done is against the law and thus punishable". It's like if I went out and robbed a bank and admitted it on national television I should go out shocked after I got busted crying out "Why have the police arrested me for doing this?" or something similar. It's the same thing. You break the law, you get your as whipped(you can also get your ass whipped should you ignore your girlfriend when she asks you to take out the trash). Simple as that. She got what she deserved, although she shouldn't be getting all the media attention.

I think it's a good thing that cops strike down on this. It gives out a signal that if they know that you do anything illegal, they will take you down for it. What sort of signal would they be sending if she didn't suffer the consequenses that she did? Basically they would be saying
"we don't care if you are using or are in possession of controlled substances, as long as it's not large quantities. We know it's against the law to even have a fraction of a gram of this stuff in your house, but we don't really care about the law. We are coppers after all."
I say bust the bitch and make her pay. If she had been in possession of enough of the weed to be sent to court, the judge should have given her the maximum sentence, just to state an example.

"Aww, we poor junkies aren't allowed to smoke a joint or two without the police barging down our doors."

No, you fucking aren't, and it's a fucking good thing too. I think they should start a harder line on all the users. Although death penalty or breaking a figner or two so they can't roll the fucking joint might be a bit harsh(then we would be just like the muslims!!!!) a heavy fine or a couple of days in jail might do them some good. Show the junkie nutters that breaking the law will have consequenses and that we don't take any of their shit. It's my tax money that pays for their welfare checks and I don't want to see my hard earned money go into some dodgy retard of a dealer who wasn't smart enough to get a proper job, like McDonald's or cleaning up the vomit after I've been out drunk and throwing up on the pavement. Give them a heavy fine or send them to a work camp where they can stand out in the sun/rain/wind/blizzard/whatever and break stone into gravel 12 hours a day. Maybe that will teach 'em a lesson.

Until next time, junkies.

Tears for souvenirs

Final round of the Premier League is over. The season is over and I'm now stuck with boring Norwegian football and cricket. There'll probably be some tennis too. Well, that is until silly season starts.

But a lot of fans are left with tears for souvenirs as SKY Sports' commentators during the League 1 Play Off final said it, in this case referring to Millwall who fought back a 1-0 deffacite to a 2-1 lead until collapsing again and losing 3-2. It was a good match, one of the best matches I've seen this season, but a good show wasn't good enough for Millwall today. I feel for the fans, I really do. I know how it is to be a fan and watch as your team loose a final. It hurts. A person that isn't a die hard supporter like the rest of us will never understand it. Loosing a final is never good, either it's the Play Off's or a Champions League final. No matter what you're stuck with a feeling that all the hard work you've put into the competition this season is now worth nothing. You get to see the trophy, but you know that you will never lift it, and as a fan you have to watch the other team lift it, and also watch how the other fans cry of joy while your tears of despair are running down your cheeks. I'd take a kick in the balls any day before watching Arsenal loose a final, especially a final where I've seen the lads give it all.

Newcastle and Middelsborough fans also shedded their tears today as they were relegated down to the Championship. Personally I'm pissed off as hell because Whores(Hull City) managed to stay up, but as Andy Gray said; If you're not good enough for this league you will be found out of, and that quickly. That's what happened to Newcastle and Boro this season. I can't imagine how it feels for their supporters right now. I think it is bad to watch your team get relegated, but knowing that your team has played like crap and obviously haven't given their best effort all season doesn't ease the pain. Boro and Newcastle have played like crap almost every game, and they deserve nothing but relegation, but even though I hate Newcastle, or at least dislike strongly(due to the Geordies), I still think The Magpies belong in the Premier League.

St. Jamses Park is known for it's good atmosphere(although it was shait when I was there), an atmosphere that very few Premier League clubs can copy. I think the only clubs that I've seen has better supporters is Derby County. The club was relegated last season with the fewest amount of points ever in the Premier League, but still the club filled it's stadium every match. I think that's a thing worthy of great respect. People always talk about how Liverpool has such a great atmosphere with The Kop and everything, but they have success at least. They have a geniuine chance every season to take a trophy. They are considered one of the big four. Derby is considered a rubbish club, but still their fans are more loyal than Liverpool's fans, at least in my eyes. You'll always have the hard core that will support their team no matter what, but you also have a lot of people that supports the team because they win. Usually those people can only name two players in the club and they all deserve to be shot, but with success comes groupies.

So, I wish best of all to the true fans of the clubs that are relegated and I hope that the groupies get shot.

Until next time, blog readers.

A lot of sheep, both if in England and in Norway...

So, a whole bunch of sheep shit to go through today.

First of all, Arsenal's captain Cesc Fabregas was yesterday cleared from the allegations that he spat at Hull's assistant manager Brian Horton(couldn't find a link on Skysports or The Guardian). All I'm asking now is that someone gives Hull manager Phil Brown a link to this blog or just copies what I've said and sends it to him one way or another, because this is going to be good=):

Phil, you are a bitter man. A very bitter and foul man. You are the only manager in Premier League and probably also in the Championship, League 1 and League 2 that wears a fucking bluetooth headseat during matches. What the fuck's the point? Do you think it makes your decisions better, or do you have contact with some dude that sits at home and is really the manager of Hull FC? No matter what it is, you look like a twat.

Some might say that "Ok, so he looks like a twat but he has done great things with Hull". True, you have done big things with Hull, but it's obvious that it's gone to your head. It's obvious that you've become an arrogant piece of shit that can't handle defeat. When you kept your players on the pitch during half time at the 5-1 defeat against Macnhester City you showed that there are some things here in life that you are not capable of handling, and how to act when things are not going your way is one of them.

In the end you also showed your worth when you lied to the press after Wenger didn't shake your hand at your 2-1 loss against Arsenal in the FA Cup. You said that Wenger didn't shake your hand that match or after the two PL meetings between Arsenal and Hull. Pictures and videos showed that you either "forgot" or you had already started a smearing campaign against Arsenal, Wenger and Fabregas.

You said that you had loads of evidence against Fabregas and several witnesses, but tell me then why the FA now have ruled against you? Why haven't the FA said that "yes, Fabregas did spit on Brian Horton and there will be consequenses for him"? Could it be that the allegations were false, and that you thought it was better to start a circus of lies and false accusations than to admit that your team was(and still is) on a shitty run that might see you relegated. Should Hull get relagated I will enjoy this season as a success, even if Arsenal didn't win a single trophy.


Anyway, from one sheep to a horde of others. Brought in another bunch of sheep and lambs to give them vaccines against God knows what. One of the lambs had decided that yes, the grass is greener on the other side(of the fence) and was stuck there screaming for his mom. Now, a sheep that's standing alone is bad, but you can say that it certainly won't run straight towards me. A lamb on the otherhand, is as I've probably stated before, so unperdictable that it's scary. Give a kid with ADD a mixture of speed, amphetamine, sugar and caffeine and the kid will still be more predictable than the lamb. The lamb might find out that it's a good idea to run straight towards you. Luckily, with the help from my dog, I managed to press the lamb to realise that running straight into the fence was a much better option. It didn't get it over to the other side, but it was stuck there for about two seconds, long enough for me to run and grab it. I have increadible reflexes=P

But, as we all know, that a shitty start, even though you get the problem cleaned up quick, means that somewhere something is going to be really fucked up. This time it was three lambs breaking out through barricades and gates and into the fields. Long story short, one of the idiots actually managed to get stuck in a fence as the dog was chasing it. It was a wonderful sight:
A lamb stuck with it's head through a fence and the dog standing right behind it, guarding it an probably ready to kill it if it made a move the dog didn't like. Personally I was all for calling a mate of mine and ask him if he wanted some target practice. Oh, and I smell like crap now.

Until later, smelly cats...

Blowing the whistle

A very quiet day today. Woke up late, started marking mid terms. It's time consuming, but it has it's moments, the type of moments where you read through it and you realise that this is why I want to do this.

Then came what is more or less the highlight of the day. A mate from my old job asked if I could be a ref during a 7's match of football. The pitch was crap, and I mean really really crap, like the sort of pitch you would expect the local 12yo's to play at just for fun. It wasn't flat and it even had a rather large hole in it. One cone in each corner to draw the outline of the pitch and a street light post some 50-60 meters away was the spot we looked at to see where the halfway line was most likely to be, all in all, not a pitch you expect the World Cup final to be played at(although when countries like Greece wins the Euro, it just goes to show that ANYTHING can happen in football).

One might argue that having a rugbyplayer referee a football match might not be the smartest idea, but it all depends on what you want to see in a football match. If you want to see a match where there is no physical contact of any sort with a stop and go play, then I guess you're better off with a netball ref(Jesus Christ that game is fucking boring). However, if you want a game where shoulder to shoulder is accepted and divers like ronnie just gets a shake on the head from the ref who plays advantage whenever he can, I guess a rugbyplayer might be a good choice.

I'll admit that about 1/3 of the times I said the ball was either in or out of the pitch I had to guess, but come on, what can you do when there are no lines and no assistant referee and the teams decide to play cross balls? It kind of makes the job a bit more difficult. All credits to the players though; even if they sometimes were a bit frustrated they took every decision nicely, usually just by shaking their head or swearing low. They behaved nicely and no dangerous tackles were made(although one lad might have deserved a booking...)

So, what have I learned from this? I have no idea. I know that I might try to be a ref on a bit higher level(and hopefully with a better pitch), but that needs training. It also means that I need to start training a bit more. Now that will be a killer blow to my beerstomach(although I must admit that it has shrinked a bit lately. I have no idea why).

Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win
- Gary Lineker

Paperwork, more paperwork and I'm two papers from buying speed

First of all, let me mention that all the talk about Arsene Wenger leaving Arsenal is just pure and utter bullshit. The sources of these allegations are Spanish newspapers and people running for president in Real Madrid, leaving these two questions/answers.

1. Are Spanish newspapers a source that can be trusted when it comes to transfers?
2. Are people running for any kind of president(it be president of club or country) people you can trust won't tell a single lie? Especially when they are running for president in a football club in deep crisis after a humiliated season?

It goes without saying that both these questions can be answered with "FUCK NO". I vote for someone testing nuclear weapons on Santiago Bernabeu with the elected president and the spanish sports journalists in there. I think that could have been one step on the road for peace in the Middle East. Maybe not, but nothing else has worked and I can't see that this is a worse idea than anything those buggers down there has thought of up until this date.

I am now stuck with 20+ midterm papers I have to mark. It's not the worst job in the world. I bet it sounds a lot worse than it actually is. It's not boring, it's just time consuming. You'd be amased from what kids these days can produce. I don't think I was that good when I was their age. I certainly prefer marking midterms before standing in a warm pizzaplace making the same pizza over and over again. Only problem is that you need motivation to do it, and without motivation you're fucked up. I'm just glad I don't have more than one class in this.

Also, I passed my litterature written exam. I got a C. The battle is won, but the war is far from over.

gitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
Therefore, whoever wishes for peace, let him prepare for war.
- Vegetius

Chelski fans' plan for world domination fails, AGAIN!

So, the Eurovision is over for now, and guess what; Norway actually won. 387 points, biggest amount of points ever, with a margin of 169 down to Iceland, also biggest ever, and an average of 9,4 from each country, which probably also is the highest average, but I'm not sure here. Anyway, the bugger won and congrats to him.

The worst thing about this is that now his face is going to be all over the news and I won't be able to go anywhere without seeing him or hearing the song. This means that I can't listen to the radio for the next three to four months. That will seriously fuck me up if I have to listen to it time and time again. Thankfully, I have installed a car stereo, so I can listen to Rammstein instead of Fairytale.

However, nothing is so bad that it's not good for something. First one may mention that the British newspaper The Guardian had an "expert" updating their page about the Euro as the show went on. Now, the funny thing about it is that she apparently didn't like the Norwegian contribution to this contest. She said:

a young cheeky little chap called Alexander Rybak. This is the favourite, apparently...umm, sorry?

He's like a little Dickensian schoolboy with a violin and bonkers eyebrows, and it's all very theatrical, with backing dancers in braces doing gymnastics. It's like a stage school performance of Fiddler On the Roof. Could someone please poke him in the eye with his violin bow, please? Fairytale my ass.

This cannot possibly win. I will not allow it.

Surprise! If there is one thing that's better than hearing your country's commentator scream when you're winning, it's listening to a rival country's commentator wail and complain about how shit the song is and can't win and then get smacked in the face with reality. Sort of like the Swedish commentators during the 4x10 relay for men in 2007 where the Norwegian said "Thanks for the ride, lads" and more or less parked Södergren and Dementjev.

To those of you who have read my blog you'll probably remember that I commented on the Chelski fans' plans to destroy Norway's Eurovision dream. Talk about a plan backfiring at you. Jesus Christ. Their plans to assemble their obviously very few supporters around Europe to vote down Rybakk ended in what can only be described as total failure. The Bay of Pigs invasion seems like a full sucess in comparison. Maybe that made them realise that they don't have any supporters outside England except for a few retards(my cousins boyfriend included). Not only did Norway send the out of the Champions League, we also crushed them in the Eurovison. BURN! I suggest you lot stick to football. At least that's something you are somewhat decent in, and I mean the supporters, not the players, because they are all cunts. Just look at Drogba, Ballack, Cashley Cunt and Fat Frank and you'll see what I mean.

Until next time, infidels.

Crime against humanity continues and crashes all around...

So, we're one day away from the grand Eurovision Ding Dong final. If only it had been the final show, ever. It would have made me a very happy man, but then again; what should the media go on about? 1/3 of any news report in Norwegian media is about Rybakk and his Eurovision contest. People might think that only good can come out of this, one single day when all of Europe gathers in peace and listens to crappy music. I have my doubts. I have a very good argument against Eurovision now. It's not something you can write or say, it just has to be shown. Here is the final proof that very little, if any good comes out of Eurovision. I feel sad for the parents. If I were forced to listen to that kid scream I would have gone mad. Wouldn't have hit him or anything, but a sock pushed gently into his mouth should calm things down. Call me a cold hearted sun of a bitch, see if I care.

So, once again, today was the day we were bringing in the wonderful sheep and lambs to vaccinate them against different things. As always, this didn't occur without problems.
First, some of the bastards almost managed to elude our vision as we went to move them around a bit. Then, most of the sheep were in a completely different spot than where they were supposed to be, leaving me running more than I needed and thinking "Where the fuck are they?". Seems like the fence weren't completely sheep proof...

As the wild bunch were moved around more or less sucessfully, this only left the tiny little thing of getting them inside where the vaccines would be administered. Of course getting them through the first gate out on the dirt road weren't without problems. Their lack of will to move forward was rather annoying. Ever seen those nature documentaries where you have the Wildebeests about to cross a river with plenty of nasty crocs in it? It was the same hesitation and the same noise, only with "bah" instead of "muh" or whatever sound those animals make.

As they were about to enter the door one little bastard decided that this was not a place he wanted to be and jumped through the barricades. This resulted in me running after him to chase him back. Of course he didn't hesitate to do it again, little wanker. If he had done it again it would be lamb chops for dinner, home slaughtered. Would just have to pick out a lot of shotgun pellets, that's all.

After the adminstering of the vaccine was done we had to let them out. Can't be bothered to keep them inside. Have to feed them then. As usual I were given the job to do the preparations. Setting out those triangles you have in the car when your car breaks down on the road to warn the cars so they don't drive 80km/h straight through the herd. As I couldn't be bothered to walk I took my bike. After opening the gates and placing the triangles I was on my way up the dirt road when the bike suddenly found out that this was an excellent moment to hook of the chain and send me more or less over the handle and down into the dirt. Through my experience, although it is very small, as a rugby player I think I acted instinctivly and landed in a way that only shreeded one elbow, the palm of a hand and a knee. It's just minor wounds and very little/no blood at all, but it still stings like hell. The wounds still aren't clean, so if I suddenly stop writing this then I've been killed from the dirt poisoning my blood.

Who knows, maybe this is the way I die. A little less memorable than being killed by my own son while I'm an Emperor.

Et tu, Brute

Polish sex, mean women, bad music and worthless news...

A pretty slow day today. I've been using my day off to relax and watch Band of Brothers and playing Need for Speed Most Wanted. I think my mom was planning on me mowing the lawn, but you can guess how willing I was to do that.

The second semi final in the Eurovision kicks off tonight. Although the media bombards me with it, I still don't care. The chelski supporters can care all they want, but I don't give a crap. Unlike them I don't boycott a specific country, I boycott the entire event. Have you heard the songs that win? Here's the winner from 1985. Two Norwegian chicks who can't sing. That more or less sets the standard I'm afraid. This event should go under crime against humanity.

In other music news The Sun gives ronnie a red card when it comes to his music taste. I can understand why. The "thing" loves ricky martin. ricky martin. yes, ricky martin. I thought it was only 15yo girls who just hit puberty and 45yo divorced women who hasn't had sex since they conceeded their fourth child eight years ago that listened to that crap. It's not even good music. It's far from good music.
But, I guess it fits the diver pretty good to listen to ricky martin. It mirrors his personality completely; being a slick cunt that has gone through a full body wax(although it is unnecessary since all the hair he grows in on his scalp) and won't get any facial hair ever. Also add thinks he's the worlds best at what he does and dresses like a girl and you got a match.

I thought I should have another lash at the styling artist Jan Thomas that we all so love and care about. Why is he allowed to show his face in the media? This time it's because a Norwegian comedian apperantly is just as mean and cruel in reality as she is on stage. He says a whole lot more but it can be summariesed with this:

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW

and

Mommy, the woman on stage is mean to me...

That's pretty much how he goes, exchanging mommy with media. If his parents don't want to talk with him I can understand that. I don't mean because he's gay, not at all, but because he's a complete and utter cunt. If my kid behaved like that I would plant my foot so far up his arse that he wouldn't be able to talk. He deserves a good beating, maybe even a fatal one. No matter what he deserves, we all deserve to not be forced to see his face in every website we log into(hence the reason I don't have pics here on my site. I'm all for protecting the vulnerable minds). I wonder if he pays the media to get his face plastered all over it. I wouldn't be one bit surprised if it was true. Can someone please punch him? I would give a reward to those who do it, but it's not legal, so I can't officially announce a reward. Too bad to be honest. It would be a bit amusing though if some kick ass hacker read this and hacked into FBI's database and placed the fucker on the US government most wanted list. They can come and pick him up anytime they want to.

Also happy news to all you Catholics out there; You can have a lot of sex(no protection though) and you can experiment. According to a new book that's been published by a Polish padre in the Catholic church it is vital that married couples have sex to uphold the marriatal bond or something like that. I didn't grasp everything in the article, but it simply says; Catholic church gives green light for sex even just for pleasure. I bet you lot didn't see that one coming, did you? Well, I'm not completely surprised though. According to a mate of mine it is often the most religious girls that are wildest under the covers. It is a bit of a bummer though if she's that kind of girl that only wants to have sex after marriage. Then you can't bail out if the theory is a bit flawed. Well, you can, but it's a bit more paperwork than just "It's over between you and me I'm afraid".
It's weird that the Protestant haven't made a book like "Sex for Protestants" yet. That's a book I'm looking forward to. Compare the accepted sex life of Protestants and Catholics.

Another thing worth mentioning is that the world stopped today. Yup, you might not have noticed it, but it happened. I'm not kidding either. At approxamatly 17:30 CET Google had problems. It was apperantly slow at loading. Gmail and Google Maps were among the parts that struggled. I quote

I'm terrified of how independent I am of Google

Jesus fucking Christ. Google had troubles for an hour or so and you're complaining like the world is about to end. I have yet to check the stock markets all around, but I bet that Dow Jones went down a couple percent when the situation became clear. I wonder how many lost their homes and how many jobs were lost because of Google struggling for an hour, max. I know I use the net a lot, but I'm not crying whenever a site is struggling and twittering to the media out of frustration.

GET A LIFE!

I hope the rest of you will have one until next time.

Chelski supporters shows no understanding of importance and written exam is over(hopefully)

So, a couple of days ago the brilliant Chelski supporters(in England, not in Norway) have decided to avenge referee Tom Henning Øvrebø's refereeing in Chelski's Champions League match against Barcelona at Skunkfort Brat(it honestly smelled bad there when I was there). They have turned their rage against Norway as a country and not Øvrebø as a person, and in their rage they have urged Chelski supporters around Europe not to vote on the Norwegian competator in this week's Eurovision Song Contest(or whatever the hell it's called). They want to hit back;

in a way that really hurts, so we will do what we can to deny them the pleasure of bringing the Eurovision trophy home.

.....



Seriously: .......


I'm speechless....

Ok, I'm not, but COME ON! If it had been 1st of April I would have laughed at NRK for not finding a better April fool than that...

First: They decide to boycot an entire nation just because a ref didn't decided dodgy decisions in Chelski's favour? You've got to be fucking kidding me. What are they going to do next time they get dodgy decisions against them from an English ref? Boycot cows from Yorkshire? Boycot beer from Newcastle area?

Second: They want to hurt us where Norway as a nation really feels it, and they're gonna sabotage Alexander Rybakk's chance to take the glorious and much wanted Eurovision trophy? You've got to be fucking kidding me, AGAIN! Is the Eurovision really that big in England? I watched that when I was a kid. Last time I watched with two mates and a girl. We lads decided who should win based upon which singer had the best tits. That's how serious the majority of Norwegians take it. What are they going to boycot next from Norway? Youtube videos from Norway? Blogs from Norway? Youtube Videoblogs from Norway? Jesus fucking Christ. Are the Chelski supporters as stupid as I think they are now? I know the Norwegian ones are more or less sane(except my cousin's boyfriend), but I'm beginning to doubt the English ones.


In other not as hillarious news I'm finished with my written exams, hopefully, if I pass them. If I fail I'm not finished with them, but I guess a person as bright as you already figured that out, since you are smart enough to come in here and read my blog(Jesus Christ my fingers are dancing over the keyboard now. I'm typing increadibly fast. Maybe I should start smoking some weed to slow me down). Now I only have two oral exams left(no naughty thoughts now...) and then I just have some work left before the summer holiday is here(ha. wrote this part with my eyes closed. Lima Victor!!!!). Hopefully I will get some acceptable grades and get in on my master program next year. Then I will be at least somewhat closer to the end of this war.

Currently I'm listening to French Pop Music as I'm writing this stuff. I don't know what it does with me, but it is really weird, and somewhat great... Now I'll got and finish tagging my blog posts. Until next time, Eurovision voters.

The Ghost returns....

So, the Ghost is not gone yet. On Tuesday I have yet another written exam.
"The things that I want" by Knudi:
I want the exams to be over, to be finished with my education and live happily ever after with a steady job, wife, house, mortgage, dog and 2,4 kids.

The war with the Ghost is far from over. I have lost a few battles, battles which could be key battles for a final victory, but many battles have been won. The United Army of Knudi is marching steadily towards victory. Some battles have lasted for only a few days, while others lasted for days, weeks even. My generals have shown their skills and my soldiers have proven their value. I haven't even needed mercenaries.
However, the soldiers are growing tired. I believe their morale is low at the moment, but I have faith in them. With the ringing voices from the generals in their ears they will fight on. They will fight until fatigue strikes them and then they will fight some more. They have a long way ahead of them, but I believe D-Day is getting closer. The soldiers have set out in their landing crafts and are ready to battle once more. The strategy might have flaws, but the intelligence and my generals' ability to improvise are high. D-Day is here, and we will give it all. Should we loose many men on D-Day I can just hope for reinforcements and rest during the summer. Maybe the morale of my troops will rise.
I believe we might even get some help from above. St. Demetrius is watching over us, I think.
May God have mercy on our souls.

Arsenal lost 1-4 to Chelsea. Third place is out of sight and Diaby proved once again that he is useless. Why is that "man" playing on one of the best teams in the world?

Today I was rather active. I played football for 2 hours at what my cousins bf calls "Lanen" in Norwegian, a derivation of "The Lane". It's a small patch of astroturf he and his mates have played on for a long time. There were only six of us, so it ended up with a 3-a-side. Tomorrow my thighs will most likely be stiff as a board. I also ended up with soars under both my feet and my ankle, the kind of soars that comes from walking or running far in shoes that aren't the best. I will never use shoes with only six studs on astroturf again. It hurts like hell. Complaining aside(I played sport for fuck's sake, I'm entitled to it!) it was a good work out. I made some good saves as a goalkeeper(saving two penalties) and even scored a few goals(one header), although I probably missed more chances than I took. That kinda sucks. It was a good workout though, and I deserved the pizza and coke I consumed afterwards.

Right now it doesn't matter. Tuesday is yet another battle, another step on the road that hopefully ends this long war I've been fighting for now 16 years. I say like Marcus Antonius in Shakespear's play "Julius Caesar" Act 3 Scene 1:

Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.

Ghost is gone... for now.

I had a horrible night last night. I was trying to get some sleep, but I couldn't, I just couldn't. Instead of being in a bed I felt like I was in a trench in Europe during the war and instead of cannons keeping me awake it was distraction thoughts, thoughts that keeps your mind racing so you don't relax enough to go to sleep.

You lie there, on your back, eyes straight up in the ceiling, staring straight at it, the guns of distraction hammering away someplace far away, and the only thing you know about them is that they are far away, but not far enough to give you peace. You know what is going to happen. You know that in a few hours time the captain, or the alarm clock, will call on you to get up and start fighting, or at least prepare. You don't know when, exactly. You look at your watch, and you see the minutes ticking away so fast, too fast. For once time flies instead of standing still. Painful.

Then, just like a strong whistle in the trench telling you to charge over the top, run into the minefields and face the machineguns and artillery firing at you, the alarm clock rings. The rest you needed so badly were never given to you. You don't feel fit enough to fight this battle. You know that the moment you enter the office with the zombie guards you are doomed. You can either run away and never look back, or you can try to survive, and fail. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

A game without confidence and the exam ghost is creeping in

So, as those of you who know me somewhat probably already have realised, today, 5th of May is a really shitty day.

This is mainly due to two things.
First, Arsenal lost, 1-3 to United, losing 1-4 in aggregate and are thoroughly knocked out of the Champions League. I'm going to admit that Arsenal didn't deserve to win today. The team played without confidence, but I must say that Utd. weren't convincing at all tonight. They didn't look like a team that has already picked up one trophy, have the other more or less ready and 90 minutes away from a third. They were far from superior. To me, the score 2-0 to half time lied a lot. First goal was pure luck. The Cunt sent a 45 degree ball into the box and Gibbs slipped as he was going to pick get the ball, leaving Park an easy shot to put the ball behind the net.

Second goal was a freekick that went in from a good 40 yards because Almunia did a perfect mistake and let the ball come in. He should have done better. And all this was just after 11 minutes.

Arsenal played with very little confidence tonight. I saw that. Everyone saw that. You saw it in every pass that went wrong and every cross that went to nothing that tonight wasn't Arsenal's night. Tonight wasn't the night for amazing comebacks and a wonderful team performance. Tonight wasn't the night for celebration in North London. Tonight was the time for celebration in Manchester.
There are several reasons for Arsenals poor performance tonight.
- Two goals against us within the first 10 minutes.
- A pretty good solid United defence, especially Evra that neutralized the threat from Theo Walcott. That and a good Ferdinand/Vidic partnership didn't make life easier.
-A referee that had his whistle glued to his lips.

Some people will argue that the referee didn't blow the whistle in any important situations, except when he blew the whistle for The Cunt as he layed down after van Persie looked hard on him, earning him a free kick. Except for that situation, not many free kicks were awarded in decisive moments. However, the fact that he blew his whistle time and time again, killing the flow of the game and blowing the whistle almost every time a Utd. player went to ground(and was totally fooled by The Cunt's diving abilities) you get the feeling as an Arsenal player that this is a night where everything is going against you, nothing seems to work your way. And that reflects on the game the lads played. Everything went against them, resulting in sloppy passes, crosses when no one was in the box, lack of will to enter the box and so forth. It was a sad night, and if it hadn't been for a thing on Thursday I would be getting drunk tonight.

So, the thing on Thursday. I have this semester's first exam then. Oh joy...

Exam is a horrible thing. It's like a bad dream, the entire experience from semester start to the end is like a bad dream, like when you start running in a dream and the evil ghost(in this case the exam-ghost) is chasing you. You run all you can, afraid of looking back at what you run from so you decide to ignore the thing that you're running from and just run. But no matter how fast you run or how far, the ghost creeps in on you, gaining inch by inch, until you feel it breathing down your neck, the chilly wind from it's breathing sends shivers down your spines before it grabs you just before you reach the door that will let you escape from the house of horror.

And it's at that point it's decision time. You can either give in and let the ghost haunt you forever, or you can fight your way through it and maybe, just maybe escape from the house.

The old creepy and dark house has been replaced by a room filled with desks and a big clock on the wall moving too fast. The ghost is no longer an inanimate screaming and howling creature, floating above you and sending chills down your spine, but it is now four maybe five sheets of paper stapeled together in the top left corner and instead of sending chills down your spine it hits your stomach like a fully loaded train, mocking you for not knowing the answer and laughing at you as you think if only you had spent all those hours reading isntead of browsing the web and getting drunk as you did.
The rats and cocroaches that live in the old creepy house has been replaced my old retired ladies, watching your every move with a look that reminds you of old western movies. The only thing you wait for them to say is "Turn around and draw, punk." They watch you like vultures, and instead of waiting on you to give up and die so they can feast on your flesh they wait for you to reach into your pocket and find the little note you hid, or watch with pleasure as you surrender and back out from the exam.

But when you finally fight off this ghost and leave the house, oh so many times is it that you realise that in only a few days you will be back into the house, fighting the battle yet again, praying for the Gods to show you mercy as you enter one of the most feared houses you have ever seen...

Feeling of being a man going up and down + a lot more(I think...)

A whole lot of shit to go through, so I'll just start right away(it might not seem like much to some of you, but it is for me and if you don't like it then fuck off=).

Yesterday I went from testosterone filled chopping lumber the day before to vacuming and cleaning the house, or at least the ground floor. That's right; I cleaned and vacumed. I suspect that most of you would be screaming like Martin Tyler about 7:35 in this clip. I know, it's pretty amazing, but I did it. I even took out the carpets and a the pillows in the couch and gave them a beating to get some of the dust out(probably got a 1/10 of the dust out, but that's normal). And I did everything with a back that was fucked up from bending over the day before while chopping those damn pieces of wood up. Reason I did it? My mom's coming home today/tonight. She had given me orders to do so. Guess what my dad did to thank me. Let the dog in, twice. Thanks pop...

Today, however, I got a bit more manly work. I got the honour of cleaving the wood I chopped up two days earlier, or should I say "honour"? That too was backbreaking work. Instead of a chainsaw ready to rip up your leg you have a piston with God knows how much pressure ready to press your hand into a very pointy piece of steel or pieces of wood ready to fly in your face. Almost got one in the sensitive area. I'm glad I moved. It could have been very, very painful.

As noted, my mom's coming home from a week holiday on Crete tonight. I'll probably get pestered for sending so short messages to her. Does she know what SMS stands for? It's supposed to be short.

"How's everything going at home?"
"Good"

What more should I write? Should I write that the dog barked two times before laying down on the lawn and that a sheep went screaming for it's lambs again and that the sun hit the windows in a weird way that made the couch look lighter instead of black? There was nothing to report, not a single bit. The longest answer was that I had cleaned the house and I was waiting for my dad to come and mess it up(he let the dog do the dirty work...). I'm not good on texts unless it's a question that can't be answered in just one word. Don't mind having a text "conversation", but there are limits for what I care to write when my mother starts to worry after being gone 3 days. The house is still standing for God's sake.

"How's everything going at home?"
"House burned down, killed 4 cops and hacked the airforce and sent an airstrike at the neighbour."

If that had happened, I would have written that. If everything is going good, I'll write good.

One thing that also has happened is that I see a sudden change in the way guys write texts to me after they've gotten a girlfriend. Luckily, the don't end it with such as "Love you, honey" or something like that(would have resultet in a beating, physical and verbal), but one started using a whole lot of smileys, the =) type. I asked him later on what the hell he did that for. I had to. You don't write that sort of smiley to a mate unless it is something like "Cashley Cole got shot today=)" or something happy like that, but not in a regular "See you then" message. Reason he did it? His girlfriend had told him to use more smileys in his texts. He stopped sending me smileys afterwards, except the occasional =P type. We men are too weak. God help us all.