Ghost is gone... for now.

I had a horrible night last night. I was trying to get some sleep, but I couldn't, I just couldn't. Instead of being in a bed I felt like I was in a trench in Europe during the war and instead of cannons keeping me awake it was distraction thoughts, thoughts that keeps your mind racing so you don't relax enough to go to sleep.

You lie there, on your back, eyes straight up in the ceiling, staring straight at it, the guns of distraction hammering away someplace far away, and the only thing you know about them is that they are far away, but not far enough to give you peace. You know what is going to happen. You know that in a few hours time the captain, or the alarm clock, will call on you to get up and start fighting, or at least prepare. You don't know when, exactly. You look at your watch, and you see the minutes ticking away so fast, too fast. For once time flies instead of standing still. Painful.

Then, just like a strong whistle in the trench telling you to charge over the top, run into the minefields and face the machineguns and artillery firing at you, the alarm clock rings. The rest you needed so badly were never given to you. You don't feel fit enough to fight this battle. You know that the moment you enter the office with the zombie guards you are doomed. You can either run away and never look back, or you can try to survive, and fail. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.